Laura Creekmore

One thing I didn't fully appreciate until I sat on a jury and reviewed body cam footage for myself, is how cops yell contradictory instructions at people like "Don't move" "Put your hands up" "Get the fuck out of here" "Keep your hands where I can see them" etc. all screamed at your face with guns

I had a Reddit post removed from an “Ask” subreddit because the mods said it could have been answered “by a search engine.”

Have any of them used a search engine lately? Search engines don’t answer shit anymore! They’re all completely enshittified. Why do you think I was on Reddit?

OH: I didn’t bring a coat because Mom said it would be cold and I figured that meant 50 degrees.

Today (28 degrees F) was not the best day to forget to take my towel to the pool for swimming laps.

This whole thing was a delightful and educational read. Thank you.

Our dishwasher texts our kids when its done, then shuts off their wifi if they don't empty it.

Me: they have made appliances way too complicated and ridiculous not everything needs access to the internet…

But also:

Just started a three day vacation by having a nightmare I went to Fiji and there was some devastating weather warning. I woke up as the storm rolled in.

Side note: I am definitely not going to Fiji for the next 3 days.

Also, the beach at my fake Fiji was really beautiful.

Just picked up my farm share for the week. I would like to drive around with fresh basil in my car 100% of the time.

He attempted that argument. 😂

Father’s Day situation: I come home from church and he’s got it at 67 in the living room. SIXTY-SEVEN DEGREES.

This is serious, rigorous analysis and it should change the way the media has been covering these protests. These were, in the aggregate, *massive.*

Are we here now? Giving this one another try.

One feature of the Nazi conquest of France was the astonishing defections among the intelligentsia, including some of the left-wing political intelligentsia. The intelligentsia are the people who squeal loudest against Fascism, and yet a respectable proportion of them collapse into defeatism when the pinch comes. They are far-sighted enough to see the odds against them, and moreover they can be bribed—for it is evident that the Nazis think it worth while to bribe the intellectuals.

Was reading George Orwell on the Spanish civil war last night and this part stuck out.

When you go to turn the light on and discover it’s already on. Is it cataracts or just winter?! C’mon daylight saving time!!

How am I supposed to decide? I need to grow them ALLLLLLLL

All of my posts today are about how absentminded I am. :/

Here I am getting gas at Costco. After swimming. In 29 degree freezing mist. I am your smartest friend.

Sitting at my desk wondering why I’m freezing. My Nest was “helping” by turning on Eco mode and I was down to 66 already. Just like the last 3000x this happened.

Quick note to everyone: When you park, you need to check that you have enough room to get out. AND ALSO THAT THE PERSON YOU PARKED NEXT TO DOES. Got some extra exercise this am crawling across my car from the passenger door.

First swim of the year in. I loved our trip over Christmas/New Year’s but I missed my pool. So happy to smell like chlorine again.

You don’t need a store discount card, ever, because someone has always, always registered [local area code]-867-5309. I have tested this in 12 states at 40+ stores and it never fails.

2025 is off to a bang-up start: I used up the last of my travel toothpaste on the last morning of a trip. WHY is that so satisfying?!

OTOH I misspelled “off” in the first version of this post. Imma blame that on autocorrect.

Up and at ‘em because college kid doesn’t own a coat and he has to have one by Xmas Day. For years I have religiously avoided in person shopping the week of Christmas. Here we are. Wish us luck!

Oh wow. I have always felt like others must be doing this lots better. Makes me sad to think others…aren’t. :(

Adjectives in English absolutely have to be in this order: opinion-size-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose Noun. So you da. Have a lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife. But if you mess with that word order in the slightest you'll sound like a maniac. It's an odd thing that every English speaker uses that list, but almost none of us could write it out. And since since comes before colour, green great dragons can't exist." - Mark Forsyth, quote from The Elements of Eloquence: How to turn the Perfect English Phrase

Been seven years since I first read this, on the English language's *completely universal but totally invisible* adjective hierarchy, and I can honestly say I've thought about it most days since.

Teacher gifts done. That is so much easier with just one kid in school but it’s been 15 years since I had only one kid in school. Wrapping up this parenting thing (youngest in 10th grade) and remembering I used to have a life.

I think the transgender kids are the bravest kids right now that we see; they're as brave as my generation was in breaking down segregation. They're breaking down-I don't have the word for it right now-but it's gender prejudice, and [the idea that] somebody has decided that they can tell you who you are, what your name should be, and how you should look. And those youngsters are saying, "No, I can decide who I am, what my name should be." Everybody's mad at me like, You should be a girl because we've decided you're a girl. And they say, "Well, who the hell are you?" I can decide that I'm a boy. And if it makes me happy, what does it mean to you? And I can decide that my name is John. And if you don't like that my name is Geraldine, why can't you name yourself? And if the people who know you and love you-or have to talk to you, maybe they don't even love you but they have to talk to you -you can tell them, “This is my name, and I would like to be referred to in that way."

This interview with Nikki Giovanni from earlier this year should be required reading. oxfordamerican.org/web-only/nik...

Nikki Giovanni describes how she doesn't think death is the end of us.

From an interview I did with Nikki Giovanni back in 2017:

I feel like there must be a support group specifically for my issue: Lifelong diehard Cards fans who nonetheless know all the words and can’t stop singing Go, Cubs, Go!

Now that I’ve bought three cans, I can tell you: The seasonal rosemary nut mix is in at Trader Joe’s. NOT TO BE MISSED.