Milk the bear, spitroast the pig!🤣

Cum break my heart, baby 😍

I came here to say this too, and see what opened for me 😈

I saw this handsome man and thought “hey, do I know him?” and then I remembered “no, I don’t…” 🤫🫣

Come in and offer to rub your “stiff muscles” and relax you…

Wanna play dentist? You can drill me and fill me in an hour, listen to me moan while you do it, and I’ll fight with my insurance to reimburse me for it because it was an emergency and you aren’t in network…

Trader Joe’s has one that’s almond instead of hazelnut… would that work?

Get her a shirt like the one Geri Jewell wore that says
“I DON’T HAVE CEREBRAL PALSY, I’M JUST DRUNK” and people will be far too polite to say anything 😂

🤣🤣🤣

I think it’s fucked up that I can have smoked paprika in my spice cabinet but if I have smoked marijuana I can be fired! 😏

a man is riding a bull in front of a sign that says big whiskey ain 't gonna ALT: a man is riding a bull in front of a sign that says big whiskey ain 't gonna

I’d ride that!!!

And anything else that “pops up “!

Honestly, the pandemic made it easier for us all to embrace being in our “bubbles”, so it’s still hardwired into us to feel the need for comfort of the nest over the noise and agita of outside social interactions. It’s not a bad thing… it’s just a cultural phenomenon.

But will you F my A?

The rear would be ideal 😉

I need a pint of heavy cream every day!

A grateful bottom would clean you up with his mouth

(Hint, hint)

I just need to suck a dick with 30 minutes of absolute devotion to the man who was so gracious to deliver it to me in this desert nearly devoid of dick…

What about volunteers? 👋🏻

May I just say that hair on the shaft is just one of those testaments to a man’s virility and that makes my knees so weak that kneeling before him is the only way that I can show my fealty?

Shake your dick at me for a genuine cocksucking grin

The Hard Times Trump Fires Noem, Nominates Markwayne Mullin To Fuck Corey Lewandowski on Luxury Jets

😆😆😆😆☠️

You just made me too horny to function and now I have to fix a cushion 😂

Didn’t even have to ask. Always at your disposal

I don’t understand but my asshole just chewed a chunk out of this loveseat…

But still a chicken parm, too, right?
Right?!?

I thought it was implied 🤤

🫂🤗🫂

Oh, if only… 😍