Blessica Blimpson

Checking my bank account to see if I got a tax refund an hour after submitting my claim to Revenue

Bought cans of cocktails in M&S and wasn’t charged the return deposit fee but they have the return logo so we can still bring them back

Might start drinking Guinness now just to spite the Brits

And before anyone comes at me, yes I know, you love your kids so you are very much arsed. It just seems like a lot of effort to me as a childless cat lady and the little doll is also terrifying, I don’t want that spooky prick in my house.

Few things make me say “Jesus, would you be arsed?” aloud more than seeing parents on social media sharing their kids Elf On The Shelf’s antics.

If a Band Aid line up doesn’t have Dizzee Rascal and Ms Dynamite in it then I’m not interested tbh, you can keep it

I was such a big deal, TWO (2!) Irish media outlets wrote articles about how I almost missed the bus one day. I’ll never achieve that level of success again.

Can I just regurgitate all my popular tweets from a decade ago and get followers again, will that work?

when i signed up to bluesky i listed one of my interests as books/reading and i wish i hadnt done that because now they keep showing me loads of nerds

It’s so annoying! Like how long has it been now, everyone knows it’s been renamed X.

Pc4pc though?

"Is this the chillout room?"

Not exactly shade, but I’ve a memory of listening to All Saints’ first album when I was 10 and my mam saying “this sounds like someone druggies would listen to.” This is hilarious to me now as an adult, the idea of a load of people on yokes at an afters, listening to All Saints.

The move to Bluesky from Twitter (I am in my bollox calling it X) is reminding me of when we were “forced” to move to Facebook from MySpace and Bebo. I’m confused and I miss the good old days when nobody posted about politics and social media was just selfies and song lyrics.