ash

*pointing to a single basket*
Me: These are my eggs.
*a majestic hawk elegantly swoops down to effortlessly carry my eggs away*
Me: Well, fuck.

I'm curious about Godzilla's sex life. Breeding habits. Egg cycle. All the knowledge. Can someone fill me in. K. Thnx.

I once killed a man with one of my shitposts. That’s why I’ve been reluctant to get back in the game.

Shut the fuck up (politely)

Always stunning.

Ugh, wants and needs. So stupid.

It's like my 3rd grandma always said, "Never run out of things to fuck you over."

Yeah, you. 😆

Ashfro take the win. 😆

Hahaha no. Like wavy.

a woman says i was just messing with you in pink Alt: a woman says i was just messing with you in pink

No, but my hair is really curly. I don't wear it straight often.

Same. 😆

I'm never worried about anyone from the internet recognizing me in public because I only wear my beard at home.

Perfect! 😆

one day is enough of a tolerance break right?

Not now, Babe. I've got to gulp down this tangy psyllium husk before it gels.

Right! 🤣

Damn typo. Both lol

baja blast bidets

I'd vote for bothe of you. 😀

Insanity! Yet, inspiring.

Bout to get wild and not set an alarm for tomorrow!

If you're happy and you know it, ew

So illustrated.

It was weird but whatever.

No worries it's up to you.

She may forgive you.

Shhhh. You said you wouldn't say anything. 😆

As usual. ☺️