Louise Leigh

Autistic people taking it all a bit seriously is so deliciously on brand and I love it

100% would contribute to this crowd funder

WAIT? So the autistic Barbie is the only one that *doesn't* walk on her toes? #AutisticBarbie

I wrote about my weakness for utensils,(substack.com/home/post/p-...) but this document feels fetishistic

Our firstborn once famously interpreted "smart casual" as 'holey tracky bums, smart shirt and a top hat' and while in many ways it nailed the brief, conservative granny would not have seen it that way

I felt this about 2024

Elder kid is at home and we are watching festive fave John Carpenter’s The Thing. Altogether now:🎶 “oh the weather outside is frightful…”🎶

The statue of Molly Malone that has had its breasts rubbed to a shiny bronze by thousands of passing (probably) men

Lovely! May her boobs remain dark (unlike poor Molly Malone)

SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE

My friend’s 45 year old husband went out for “one drink” at his work do and when she got up at 8.30am he was still “out”, drinking with a couple of mates in the kitchen. Fine! But it was the morning of the school fair. Which stall had she signed him up to help at? And why was it the WORST ONE?

To be British is to have 9 coats and 35 pyjamas

I have also said to a table once “chatting with your mates is really lovely and if that’s what you want to do, you shouldn’t be in here because this isn’t that. Go and have a lovely time” and I meant it sincerely but it was NOT received like that

I absolutely had to go full bitch on Hereford on Friday night and it always feels gross but the rest of the room appreciates it

Thought he was recreating scenes in my home when I try to put my dog’s harness on

My car switches between full beam and dipped automatically but often selfishly late so I override it

They should give Scotland's best sandwich the Noble Piece prize

I can only write to this weird playlist of super fast bluegrass banjo

You can get a three foot length of pipe in the back of a honda jazz, mate

Not to burn, but I'm seeing Billy Bragg tonight

10. Actually I am meant to be lying on the floor. No no, it’s fine. I think I will stay here for a bit.

9. I do not need both my eyes.

8. I am sexually irresistible

7. Dancing

6. Left to my own devices, I will break into a millinery, with a view to conducting an elaborate hoax.

5. If required, I could definitely do a Rescue

4. I can speak to strangers

3. I will tell you things you absolutely don’t want to know

2. I will tell you anything you want to know

Festive guide to my level of drunkenness (a thread) Seven is my absolute favourite

1. I have a glass in my hand

Screenshot of a DM saying “hi sis - have you got tams new address”

My brother in my DMs like he’s clumsy exposition