first beaver to see moving water: this has got to be stopped!
02.03.2026 21:56
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π 19
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first beaver to see moving water: this has got to be stopped!
frog "Philip K. Dickgirl" kosaric @yurirando tibetan foxes have the exact energy of when you go into arby's stoned and ask about their 5 for $5 promotion, which has been gone for longer than anyone has worked there. the tibetan sand fox's face is the face the cashier makes at you, and the face you make at the cashier 5:47 PM β’ 2019-04-06
dolly should have just set jolene on fire
Steinbeck: What did you think of my draft of ππ§ ππ°πΆπ΄π¦ π’π―π₯ ππ’π―?
Publisher: It needs more characters.
Steinbeck: I'll see what I can do.
[3:12 am]
brain: hey wake up let's think about everything
me: what do you mean by everyth-
brain: I SAID EVERYTHING
doing a reverse mid-life crisis where i do things that help affirm and accept growing older like slowly becoming weirder and witchier but also wiser
I donβt know how to use chatgpt etc but I imagine itβs going to a website and typing βoh no what groceries do I buy please tell me false god for I am so weak I cannot go onβ as your brain atrophies and leaks out of your ears from disuse and the machine is like βbuy eggs milk bread and a horseβ
Cop: do you know why i pulled you over?
Me: idk, were you just fuckin bored
Cop: yeah, kinda
itβs almost as if that fifa peace prize didnβt mean anything at all
rough day for anyone who believes in the sanctity of human life
If the men who declared war were the ones deployed to fight it, there would never be another one
[whispering to paramedic before I pass out] save me but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow
lawyer: number four, why wouldnβt you be able to serve on this jury?
me: i have ice cream in my car, your excellency.
Itβs wild how Republicans went from:
βObama is using Jade Helm to set up secret FEMA death camps and is going to turn the US into a police state and take our guns!!!β
To:
βSurveil me harder, daddy. π₯΅β
Patel specifically said during his confirmation hearings that agents would not be punished for the cases they had been assigned to. It was an obvious lie at the time.
Cartoon of monk speaking to meditating dog with a wagging tail and saying it can't possibly be thinking about nothing of its tail is wagging
...on the elusive happiness of being 'without thoughts' #meditation #Buddhism π§ββοΈ
REPORTER: Sir, can you tell us what happened with the elephant?
ME: (huddled in a space blanket) Of course: I was minding my business when the beast grabbed me with its trunk. My penis, exposed for unrelated reasons, functioned as a sort of axel by which I was rotated like a holiday noisemaker
GOP Senator Cassidy leaving a meeting
New GOP Health Plan Would Bring Costs Down, Require Families To Identify Weakest Members To Sacrifice
No, we don't require age verification to view our blue-footed boobies.
Also, grow up.
Photo of unhinged lunatic Pan Bondi scream talking at Congressional hearing
Pam Bondi Threatens To Lower Age Of Consent to 12 Years If The Dow Hits 60,000
It has no βcode of ethicsβ π
Obama: "When I was president, I suppose I could have simply unilaterally ordered the military to go into some red state and harass and intimidate, or cut off funding, but that's contrary to how I think our democracy is supposed to work. We shouldn't get discouraged by the fact we have a tougher job"
The first time Charlie Chaplin spoke onscreen, he implored the people of the world to resist the rising tide of fascism.
Nearly 90 years later, it remains a timely message.
Measles is a bellwether. Because itβs the most contagious vaccine-preventable disease, when vaccination rates drop, itβs the first to start spreading.
Now weβve got mumps rolling up.
Expect more.
This is just the beginning of RFK Jr.βs successful infectious disease reintroduction plan.
πΆπDONβT KILL ZAM
Zam in ACC due to humanβs illness. Grieving.
Volunteer sez: As he shows off his many many tricks for usβ¦I am blown away by how smart he is. I think asking for his familiar cues gave him comfort & b4 we know it heβs rolling around on his back like the biggest ham
Repost to find a π‘
πΆπDONβT KILL NUEVO
Heβs a gorgeous 2 y/o stray. Came to the shelter timid & not getting the help he needs to thrive. Stuck in a pop up crate. Has ulcerated paw pads causing him to limp, persistent diarrhea, poor boy isnβt feeling well & they have him on too many drugs π€¬
πRepost to find a home
πΆπDONβT KILL RUSSELL
4 y/o, 28 pounds Russell is grieving his human, who sez, βThe affection he gives is my favorite thing abt him. He loves affection & toys.β At ACC, heβs been fearful
Need to act fast, heβs been there less than 2 weeks & already has a death sentence π€¬
Repost to find a π‘
Thank you Maureen ππππ
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you never see a commercial for onions. everyone just kinda knows about them
