D*o.t_s>k°y

I'm a vicar in a small rural village. I could never say this to my flock because of the outcry, but Reform are blatantly opposed to genuine Christian values and it's clear that anyone considering voting for them has not been listening to a single word I say each week

Tonight it’s Whispering Angel’s hun-targeted rosé, “Beach”, just £14 and it’s a lovely Provence number, in the bath with some k-romance nonsense.

there are like 50 people in the country who want the UK to get involved in the Iran War, one of them is Kemi Badenoch, one of them is Nigel Farage, and the other 48 are newspaper columnists

The EBU wanna give me two tickets to Eurovision in Vienna… 🗑️🚮🗑️🚮🗑️

Waiting for the Chinese to open to order lunch hbu x

In a world of lies, we need the BBC more than ever. This week could be our last chance to save it | Polly Toynbee As the public consultation on the BBC nears its end, the right will be out in force to undermine it. But its supporters can do their bit – with this guidance, says Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee

In a world of lies, we need the BBC more than ever. This week could be our last chance to save it | Polly Toynbee

JKR right now

Of course she’s right opposite my other dream date, Xi'an BiangBiang, which means my loyalties in the area will always be tested.

BTW Sông Quê Phở Bar on Commercial Street is absolutely stunning and is just on the verge of getting packed out - we opted to eat on the street last night so we didn’t have to wait for a table and then others followed our lead. Ignore what Grace Dent says this place is booked and indeed busy.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but the AUDACITY to say 'Get off social media, olds', when your profile pic is Hugh Laurie (as House I assume), and you are posting that on THREADS, the 'talk to brands and Ellen DeGeneres' website. The old is coming from inside the house, babe.

Interesting! But bang on accurate.

On my way to Boots to buy the strongest acids and micro-est needles available to me #AcneCentral

On my way to Boots to buy the strongest acids and micro-est needles available to me #AcneCentral

Is there a reason, other than the classic catch-all “Brits are trash who can’t be trusted with nice things”, that we don’t have those orange juice machines where you fill your own bottle with freshly squeezed OJ?

#SusanBoil

If you are missing some pus it’s because I’ve taken it all and SHOVED IT
IN THE TIP OF MY HOOTAH

Yes let’s goooooooo

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

Let her go and give her a weapon

London is getting ready for her bestest months and all 😻

Ollll the way aff

Honestly I feel like I’m on the cusp of a manic episode

LESSGO

Wealthy Dubai residents race back to UAE to avoid tax bills Some risk spending too few days in the emirate and too many in the UK

Tax exiles stuck in London desperately trying to get *back* to Dubai to avoid becoming tax resident in the UK? Just great stuff. giftarticle.ft.com/giftarticle/...

Yeah but bitch it’s spring. Jog on, Puta.

SAPPENIN COSTA MY DUDES

I would say Netflix and that’s probably it x

My short-term memory is absolutely shocking atm, there’s a very real risk I could die of a retinol or a PrEP overdose any day now.

I can SMELL the humidity, aircon and sweet chilli sauce mix from here 😻😻😻

Oooooooh I’m GAGGING to get on board!