Alice Lastname

‘Scuse me luv, your handbags on fire

It’s a bit nsfw in Pompeii 😱

& Boreham Wood

Past its sell by date and stale

I doubt he ever pauses for thought

a woman in a judge 's robes is pointing at someone ALT: a woman in a judge 's robes is pointing at someone

Still waiting

a man in a robe is standing in front of a door and making a funny face . ALT: a man in a robe is standing in front of a door and making a funny face .

Guess where I am today! A clue:

That gets him the Express readers vote

Don’t spill anything down that sash!

Look at the adoring sycophants crowding around the ancient relics

Could do with some ponies. Or lambs frolicking

I love it

Even tumbleweed would find that place a little empty

British people shouting at each other below your hotel window - annoying, disrespectful
Italians shouting at each other - atmospheric, cultural

Appropriate holiday reading

Zeus had nice tits

They should ban it

I bet they still fill them full of macdonalds and other processed crap

But neither Nigel, nor Farage

You have a popular ring

I think you’re mistaking me for Big Ron. Cell 9

I appear to have only tickled the edge of your ring

Is it your visiting day?

Guess where

There’s nowhere to sit and not a sign of a decent cup of tea

The cake?

It’s your actual Spanish

One man one vote. He is the man and he has the vote

Although I did once sit upstairs in a jumbo 💅

a small plane is taking off from a runway in the desert ALT: a small plane is taking off from a runway in the desert

I had to be content with an A320