back him into a Müller Corner
05.03.2026 04:30
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back him into a Müller Corner
Opening a restaurant and making these the uniforms
watching my game show the question was "what is a male ant called?"
me in my living room "uncle"
the sideboards and buffets section on wayfair is where the matrix sends you when it needs to do maintenance on itself
If I knew Tom Hardy was going to be wearing a mask for the entire movie I would not have paid the extra to see Dunkirk in 70mm.
Italian Olympic hockey jersey with design of what looks like 3 stacks of pizza boxes
Love how the Italian hockey jersey features a flag made from stacks of pizza boxes.
Search results saying all-american half time show performers include Brantley Gilbert, Lee Brice & Gabby Barrett
I've heard of Kid Rock but the rest of these names sound like they've been made up by AI
Imagine Luda and Martha Stewart introducing the Pakistan team's arrival. Are you doing it? You see?
There should be alt play-by-play feeds of the Olympic athlete arrivals for when you get bored of the wikipedia facts one.
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Front wedgie removal tactic
More like Bored of Peace
who are these beavis and butthead guys chatting as people come to the stage and why didnt they just get beavis and butthead #goldenglobes
"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate meat; and the district attorneys, who prosecute meat. These are their stories."
Love is funny. Sometimes you never see the one that's been right in front of you all along until you're completely horny and desperate.
I got The Eagles
I'm reading it as feminism has made women hysterical and this is just what came up when they googled hysterical women
Bad Date Advent Calendar Door 16:
Date did not go well. I'm sure he was thinking, "I wasted an entire bottle of cologne for this?"
Salon booked me in for a massage because when I made the appointment their receptionist didn't understand I was whispering "mustache."
#notallaccountants
Bad Date Advent Calendar Door 15:
The accountant who considered poutine "adventurous"
If I had known the doctor was going to leave me waiting alone in the examination room for so long I would have brought a bigger purse.
Bad Date Advent Calendar Door 14:
That time I was starving but when they put the food on the table he would not acknowledge it, just kept staring into my eyes talking about his commute.
Bad Date Advent Calendar Door 12:
My date sneered at me for not knowing what Osso Buco was by saying "you don't know what Osso Busco is?"
Bad Date Advent Calendar Door 12:
The one who shook my hand, then spent the evening blowing his nose into a filthy handkerchief which he would fold up and put back into his jeans.
I keep waiting for the Only Murders theme music to play in
Valentine's Day! I think he genuinely believed he was being romantic? Saw a movie instead then he threw a tantrum when I wouldn't let him up to my apartment after. Then for weeks he kept calling me to go out again??
Bad Date Advent Calendar Door 11:
Blind date "surprised" me by booking us a hotel room. When I said no he whined, "but I've brought candles and lotion!"
