I’ve also found a lot of “nice guys” have issue not necessarily because they’re secret creeps, but because they hide their personality, convictions, etc, and it comes across as a lack of security in their sense of self. It’s better to be flawed or have bad takes than to be a blank canvas, imo
Yup. A lot of younger men get so focused on “get gf” that they forget to even think about who they tend to click with, or what clicking feels like. Once you figure that out, it becomes a lot easier to point your energy towards people who would be receptive towards you
If you're meeting people in real life (not on Hinge), you don't need to be a 10/10 on looks - you just have to be put together enough that they won't hold their nose if you say hi. Once you break the ice, being funny and kinda sweet will pay dividends quickly. Social skills + showering are the way.
Finally, fwiw, when I Put Myself Out There and posted on this beat, I generally found that women's actions matched their words. They say they want someone with basic kindness and emotional intelligence who will show up and be consistent. These are relative strengths, and it works well for me.
If you really want a full understanding of things, the move is synthesis, as usual - take what women tell you, compare with your experiences (and your friends' experiences), and coalesce a more complete picture.
Side note: to the extent that women's dating advice for men falls flat, it's usually bc they're not aware of men's lived experiences. Height is a tense topic, for example - women will often miss the mark because they don't know what being rejected on height's like. But they do know themselves.
But it's important to understand that most men who tell you that they know what women want are grifters, and most of them have learned bad habits that might get them laid but don't garner long term success - for example, acting avoidant to trigger anxious-attaching women. It "works" but is bad.
The small element of truth to this idea is that women don't always have full insight into their behavior - every single human being has unconscious thoughts that then get justified by their rational mind. On this front, men can at least claim that they've experience women's behavior first-hand.
Obviously the metaphor is silly, since fish can't talk or form cogent thoughts. Women are fully aware of their lived experiences in a way that men can never be, and will readily tell you what they experience positively or negatively. Especially if women say that DON'T like something... believe them.
Related: there's a sort of myth among men in dating that they should see advice from other men, rather than Listening To Women. They say "if you wanted to catch fish, you'd ask a fisherman, not a fish." But aside from a few caveats (in-thread), the split should probably be 80/20 in women's favor
No, you’re good. I’m reminded of a time I stumbled on tiktokers discussing SW and feminism. I asked if I had missed some drama, and they told me I was on SWers after hours tiktok - yeah you could say I felt seen heh
Just to clarify, this is just a bro-y podcast that happened to do this as a segment 😅 otherwise, point taken
“Come on please… don’t be so careful in time of death”
Hey. You know how the AI grift has been teetering on the brink of financial collapse and taking the whole economy with it?
Well.
Guess what all those AI slop data centers run on.
Diesel generators.
I can’t find it but I saw a post that described him as a “toxic chapo guest” that was “grown in a lab”, and I think that’s on point
Yeah, what the shirtless pics say louder than anything is “this is the kind of guy who listens to podcasts” lol
Darlin' don't you go and cut your hair
Do you think it's gonna make him change?
I'm just a boy with a new haircut
And that's a pretty nice haircut
Generally speaking, I discourage online dating for everyone involved, for reasons I won’t dump here. But if you insist, focus on looking like a chill dude in your profile, not a jacked one
This might sound obvious, dunno. But a lot of men think women are going through a physical checklist - 6/6/6 and so on. But they are often looking for compatibility of personality when scrolling the apps. To the extent that they care about height even, it’s to avoid height-insecure men
Of course, if you’re interested in athletic women, you should signal that a gym date sounds romantic to you. But if what you want is to smoke weed and eat good food, don’t force yourself to go to the gym because the stoner chicks will avoid dudes they think will want to work out together
If you’re not particularly passionate about the gym, invest in portraying yourself as kind, funny and well groomed instead. If you do love the gym, convey it as a passion/hobby instead of displaying your body. Either way, keep your shirt on.
Men absolutely struggle with the female gaze, and often end up replicating the male gaze on accident. The joke, though, is that women care way more about decent politics and aligned lifestyles than they do physical traits - so not the best investment to make in terms of being hot
Aside: Every once in a while, you’ll see women ask on social media, “what’s with all these dudes on the apps with shirtless gym photos? because this feels like it’s for other men.” The answer: men have convinced other men that women find shirtless gym pics with a six pack attractive.
NO NO NO YOU DON’T
GUYS LET ME PLEASE SPREAD THE GOSPEL OF FREE TAX USA
federal is free, state is $16, handles even my chaotic freelancer taxes just fine, same step-by-step “designed for normies” kind of interface as TurboTax but NOT EVIL
tell everyone you know
www.freetaxusa.com
Is the Solint book more on the tongue in cheek humor side, or more serious business? I do find, as a man, that being able to laugh stuff off helps a lot with putting aside ego and casually correcting, and I’d love resources that help create that culture of humility
A take I’m still working on, but offering as a preview: the antidote to “woke” is confidence in self. Knowing you don’t need to defend yourself (whether for being woke or problematic). Knowing that acting in good faith and apologizing when appropriate will keep you un-canceled. Etc.
Imani Gandy* I can spell
Something I find amusing is that Imani Gandi has the handle that sounds the most spicy and “woke” out of these, but practically speaking is pretty relaxed and even a little shitpost-y at times. For me, that was a follow that paid pretty reasonable dividends
already following about a third of these and can endorse; the rest look promising. that’s saying a lot on This Website.
