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Jonathan Ensor

@distractedsatrap

Editor of the Azyr Weekly

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21.10.2024
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Latest posts by Jonathan Ensor @distractedsatrap

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Great Horned Rat kicked from the Teams chat Chaos amongst the Ruinous Powers today as the Great Horned Rat is removed from the group chat used to organise after work drinks. “They weren’t fitting the vibe at all,” confided an anonymous source. “Spamming the chat at all hours with unfunny memes, constantly starting group calls and tagging everyone, it was either the rat got kicked or the rest of them left.”

Chaos amongst the Ruinous Powers today as the Great Horned Rat is removed from the group chat used to organise after work drinks.

11.03.2026 08:38 👍 8 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0

It's like the lottery - somebody's got to win, why not you? Congratulations!

09.03.2026 10:28 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Morathi-Khaine gone woke? Acolytes wearing pants, shirts Fury in Ulgu today as it becomes obvious that Morathi-Khaine, living god of the Daughters of Khaine, has kowtowed to the feminists. Long known for going into battle in skimpy underwear, the Daughte…
04.03.2026 09:01 👍 8 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
A partially painted Nexus Chaotica from Age of Sigmar

A partially painted Nexus Chaotica from Age of Sigmar

If a model has recessed channels for lava, blood or what have you, the box should come with a $10 rebate voucher. Bane of my life...

24.02.2026 08:46 👍 18 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 0
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Maneaters On Parade: Andy Jennings’s Award-Winning Ogors Today’s article is a guest piece by Andy Jennings, showcasing and celebrating his sensational Ogors army. The love and creativity that has gone into this project is unparalleled. Over to you …

This week on Plastic Craic: MY Ogres!

I've been working on this for weeks, and I'm glad @plasticcraicaos.bsky.social gave me the chance to show #TheManeaterLegion off. Every single Ogre in the army!

plasticcraic.blog/2026/02/20/m...

#ageofsigmar #aos #warhammercommunity #hobby

19.02.2026 22:47 👍 82 🔁 8 💬 3 📌 1
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This Dawnbringer Crusade brought to you by UlguVPN After months of financial difficulties, the Grand Conclaves of the Free Cities have bitten the bullet and accepted sponsorships for new Dawnbringer Crusades. The opportunity has been taken up by se…
17.02.2026 20:12 👍 7 🔁 5 💬 0 📌 0
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“We’ve always had a strong rune culture” – Lumineth and Fyreslayers at loggerheads One of the oldest rivalries in the Mortal Realms has escalated as Fyreslayer elders react in horror to the Lumineth’s new battlefield rune system. “Runes mean duardin, and duardin mean runes!” insi…
10.02.2026 20:03 👍 22 🔁 9 💬 0 📌 0

I found myself forgetting that BoC were a real, impactful thing and I am disappointed in myself for it.

06.02.2026 09:58 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The Crown of Sigmar - A World Champion's Tale
The Crown of Sigmar - A World Champion's Tale YouTube video by GoldenBoyTactics

Dear everyone. I have through several months worked on a video project with my childhood friend – and now it’s finally here: It’s a video about my trip to Atlanta to defend the World Championship title. Follow my journey there and experience the emotions up close. www.youtube.com/watch?v=EC4o...

03.02.2026 18:20 👍 22 🔁 6 💬 0 📌 2
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“Just as planned” – Infuriating Tzeentch wizard refuses to take the L The schemes of Tzeentchian warlord Ponk Roseye, never the most satisfying of opponents, have taken a horrendous turn as they refuse to admit to even the smallest of defeats. At first this affectati…
03.02.2026 20:00 👍 17 🔁 8 💬 1 📌 2
A Warhammer ghoul riding a large bat creature as if he were a knight. Only the ghoul is painted.

A Warhammer ghoul riding a large bat creature as if he were a knight. Only the ghoul is painted.

Sometimes you've just got to ghoul around a little.

31.01.2026 08:45 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
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Best Presented at Call to Glory 2026 Call to Glory at CanCon 2026 is in the books, and what weekend it was! Dice were rolled, hands were shaken and, most importantly, armies were showcased. This was my first time with a black TO’s lan…

New article is live 🥳

Our guy Aussie Wargamer was a judge at Cancon this year, and he presents here a whole bunch of really crisp photos of the best and coolest armies on display

Conversions, freehand, popping colours and painstaking detail. It's all here 👇

plasticcraic.blog/2026/01/30/b...

30.01.2026 04:15 👍 12 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 1

"Sorry babe, we just ran out of oats. Luckily we do have the back-up Froot Loops..."

26.01.2026 01:26 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Two Palanite Enforcers from Necromunda.

Two Palanite Enforcers from Necromunda.

Oh yeah, it's buddy cop time.

23.01.2026 08:56 👍 10 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
Three Palanite Enforcers from Necromunda in light blue armour.

Three Palanite Enforcers from Necromunda in light blue armour.

Two more Palanites almost ready to join Socks on the front line. Just a few details to go.

22.01.2026 01:41 👍 16 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0
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The Power of a Name: A Cancon List Review (Sorta) by Tim Brumpton “All I needed to hear was the title and I knew I wanted to be in this film.”— Samuel L. Jackson, on Snakes on a Plane Tim has been a long-time reader of Plastic Craic and a sometime…

New article is live 🥳

Cancon List Review (Sorta)

With unlimited characters (and emojis) available in the app, it's a golden age for list names

Tim Brumpton picks his favourites from the 130+ entered at Cancon this weekend

Check it out 👇

plasticcraic.blog/2026/01/15/t...

20.01.2026 04:46 👍 5 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0

That looks great. Are 500 point games worth a look for someone Old-curious?

18.01.2026 05:56 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
A Palanite Enforcer from Necromunda.

A Palanite Enforcer from Necromunda.

For so long he was a primed model on a labelled base. Now Patrolman Socks gets a paintjob.

11.01.2026 11:41 👍 15 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
Two tables set up for games of Necromunda

Two tables set up for games of Necromunda

Sometimes I remember that the ancients never got to play Necromunda and I get teary-eyed.

11.01.2026 03:52 👍 11 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Cat has a new 'friend'

17.12.2025 03:17 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Smashed it.

01.12.2025 18:41 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
11.11.2025 22:30 👍 15419 🔁 6201 💬 59 📌 119

Spiritually it's a long distance flight, but without the airpoints.

05.11.2025 00:21 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Moving house is ridiculous because it requires you to put everything that brings you joy in a box, and then to just spend a day or two staring at the box.

05.11.2025 00:21 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Three partially-painted Infernal Cohort miniatures and one completed one. They have yellow sashes and mean faces.

Three partially-painted Infernal Cohort miniatures and one completed one. They have yellow sashes and mean faces.

Putting basecoats on the next three. Starting to see how the army is going to like as a whole.

06.10.2025 09:57 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

You're welcome! I imagine Pallid Wych Flesh is doing a lot of the heavy lifting. Or I have a weird pot. Who knows

05.10.2025 18:48 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Black prime. Skin was Rakarth Flesh, Reikland Fleshshade, Flayed One Flesh highlight. The tusks were Zandri Dust, Reikland Fleshshade, Ushabti Bone. Eyes were a thinned down Druchii Violet wash around the eyes after the skin was painted, then Pallid Wych Flesh with a dot of black. Nothing exciting!

05.10.2025 09:46 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
An Infernal Cohort miniature painted with a yellow sash.

An Infernal Cohort miniature painted with a yellow sash.

One little Zharrdron from Muspelzharr down.

05.10.2025 08:59 👍 27 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 0
A man in a red jersey holds a Helsmiths of Hashut army set box.

A man in a red jersey holds a Helsmiths of Hashut army set box.

We have achieved Chorf.

29.09.2025 05:37 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
A white Abhorrent Archregent miniature with his hands painted like brass.

A white Abhorrent Archregent miniature with his hands painted like brass.

After months of inactivity, I challenged myself to paint a mini in a day. So here's Splendid King Mydas, Giver of Golden Gifts.

21.09.2025 10:55 👍 24 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0