Matt Mac

part deux is better but this is still one of my favorite jokes

taking the first bite of a sandwich at 11:51 am, that's what life is all about

the nfl would be better if they made it feel more like watching a yugioh duel

i have a cousin that works at the factory where they make the substance. he said he doesn’t work there and doesn’t know what i’m talking about but i can tell

just bought a frank from 30 rock style hat that says “hats”

orca is a good name for the machine in godzilla kotm but aura would be better

[phone notification] your son is currently jaking off

To Give a Mouse a Cookie - First Impressions

chips are lowkey goated when snacks are the damn vibe

did you know i’m having some rice and eggs for dinner. follow for more tips

watching all of the mission impossible movies for the first time. 10 minutes into MI:2 and i fear it might be the best movie ever

2025 is the year of the phone. big things are gonna be happening on phones this year dont put that phone down just yet

i like that thing they do in basketball where they let the ball roll down the court without touching it so the clock doesn’t start. making the game longer so they can keep playing with their friends

hey you hear what happened to mike from high school? yeah he turned into an agent. agent johnson i think. yeah but hey that’s life i guess in the matrix, could happen to anyone yknow lol

sometimes you just gotta tamper with or even disable the smoke detector

no, you know what? [stops jaking off] no more.

the only problem with posts on here is the lack of replies saying things like “wow, such a video”

not my student becoming the master i-

carrying my australian shepherd around in my purse that’s my bluey vuitton

guy watching the transformers: you can tell it’s fake bc if it was real it wouldn’t look like that

echo chambers are bad unless we are talking about homeschooling children in which case they’re so so good

imagining a theater school that has a football team and their pregame huddle is everyone around the captain (player with the best singing voice for obvious reasons) who does the defying gravity war cry. they would have one win and it would be against colorado

the image from the original poster, edited to add a still of queen latifah from “the last holiday” where she says “don’t that ceiling ever just make you want to cry?”

i love going to the movies. a big thing of popcorn, a tasty beverage, and a fully charged phone so i can look at stuff

what’s wrong champ, you hardly touched your opportunity to double down

come to midway airport food court in the next hour for a free beat down

Alexander wept, for he realized he only conquered like 3% of the worlds and he wanted to be done

nice reluctancy, hero. let me guess, you’re going to end up rising to the occasion in the final hour, you sack of crap

donating money to billionaires so it’ll trickle down to all my friends :)