Michael Stahlke

I feel like people may be fucking around here. I’m pretty sure nobody actually thinks that Iran is in St Louis.

Spicy and bitter are for adults.

Good lord, we haven’t even discussed the yucateco. If they’re housing spicy corn based snacks in elementary school no hot sauce is safe.

This is what I’m saying.

Three years ago I gave my oldest kid one piece of a salmon skin sushi roll and these days I half to split it evenly with him. That should be dad’s sushi. Nobody else should want fish skin.

It’s a worrisome development for dads. Once they start purloining your spicy snacks, what’s next? Is our bleu cheese safe? Our Americanos, our tinned fish for God’s sake?

I’m not much for the “kids these days” angst. But I’ll tell you one thing about Gen Alpha.

These little shits love them some Takis. The YouTube videos have rewired their brains to seek out flamin’ hot chili limon

E4 and then officer.

Lotta nerd shit goes into the care and feeding of a crew served MG.

Oh no, there are dozens of us.

Well sure when you put it like that.

To be fair, I was mostly in the desert plains of southern Afghanistan where I could trust my PSG to maneuver vehicle sections around a village while I walked in to have tea and extremely frustrating conversations with village elders about hhhwy IEDs were on the roads leading to said village.

Well, not far. But you can dismount an LRAS3 and a .50 two hundred meters below a ridge line to set up shop on a long duration OP with a little gumption.

I once had to sign for every open bolt weapon from an infantry LT. He said “you can’t take my 240s, that’s 90% of my firepower!”

And I was like, “you’re a Stryker infantry PL. I just signed for 4x mark 19s and four more M2s…..what?”

I love the picture on the left because it shows the culture gap between the infantry and everyone else.

The infantry says “luv me 240, simple as”

And any mounted soldier says “the second or third best weapon on any armored vehicle? the one we give to PFC dumbshit?”

Publius has probably never rolled off the the floor of a Stryker an hour before dawn to dry shave in the dark and eat beans with the Afghan border patrol.

Lotta hooah, very little dooah.

When Kim was working at the ER in the Weed Army Community Hospital she described an army nurse as “really hooah”.

I said, well. How hooah can he be if he’s never even entered the box?

I mean, look. This guy was a fuckin’ JAG. No disrespect to JAGs mind you. But they are not the guys to make this argument.

I’m a big believer in controlling your animals because I grew up in a house that absolutely did not do so and have had to bury dogs shot by farmers for chasing cows and have also cleaned up cat remnants. Which will leave an impression on a youth tell ya hwat.

Abigail: Should we let Luna play with Goose?

Me: Hey, I made you guys lemon bars. Let’s go inside.

There’s a cat in my neighborhood named “Goose”. It’s a good cat as far as cats go. I will occasionally pat it while puttering around my front yard. But I know it is a relentless killer of birds.

And sometimes my dog sees it and wants to do what dogs do to cats.

This is humiliating but the question is whether it’s humiliating enough

Noem’s time in the gravel pit.

a teacher stands in front of a classroom full of students with the words key and peele on the bottom ALT: a teacher stands in front of a classroom full of students with the words key and peele on the bottom

Arright, I’m gonna take a little roll here.

M’arqwané

Where is M’arqwané?

Triple Eddy?? Yah jeeze I guess I can check in the back

(The EEE width is Sasquatch size)