Opie in the sky with diamonds

See, apparently my job heard “I’m getting married and going on my honeymoon” and thought “let’s email her lots of direct questions” dude leave me alone

Yes, I worked into March so they would give me health insurance until the end of the month but to get paid an extra week I’m “working” on my honeymoon. Stupid.

Every time I leave a job I set my last day way too late.

Shut up, Steve Marshall.

A couple sitting together in a field of dry grass

Today I married @notsomerando.bsky.social and I swear to God this is the last time.

Figurines of Brady Bunch and Partridge Family fighting each other

I have created a diorama of the Partridge family attacking the Brady Bunch family. My life is very boring.

Current status: eating Polish food while watching a hyena documentary (?) and a live blues band of old men plays on stage. Colorado is great.

Oh and we’re getting married tomorrow.

My first time in Colorado and I am in love. In more ways than one.

You can find people like this everywhere but like, I'm just not ever surprised anymore.

Oh I'm so surprised that there are bad men involved with OSU! 🫠 Please just google Les Wexner.

It sounded like every middle schooler shouting “get in my belly” all day long.

Why? Farming is extremely dangerous. Absolutely let the robots take over.

We stopped doing it with her dad once she started reaching up, and she’s stopped doing it with me because we do nightly baths now. But it was great in a blowout emergency.

I’ll be perfectly fine if Cars is my kid’s repeat movie.

I just brought my kid into the shower?

Pauly Walnuts very seriously telling someone that “it’s called Broad daylight because women light up the world”

international women’s day

And for whatever it’s worth I’ve stopped spending money at Target (save for a few diaper pickup emergencies) so I do my best. We’re all doing our best.

They opened on a Sunday to give chicken to the Atlanta airport when there was a major outage and everyone was stranded for a couple days with all the internal restaurants closed. McDonalds did too.

I’m no expert on the Klan, but I’m pretty sure they only offer you a leadership position if you’re actually one of them.

We go there about once every two weeks and it’s a godsend for food she will actually eat and a great staff. I hate that they donate to anti-gay stuff but there are almost no companies not in bed with MAGA.

I really need to download that.

My kid is super ready for potty training but we have to wait another week to start and I’m losing it

I guess this is just personal. AI has been really helpful to me and helps reduce autistic overwhelm.

it's beyond galling. it's so arrogant it makes one's teeth hurt.

Put Cars on the tv for the kid and she is just saying “Car! Car! Car!” Over and over again. Then getting in my face “Car?” Yes, car.

Mixed feelings about this, you know? On one hand, a college degree does not indicate intelligence. On the other hand, I still want congress to have a good working knowledge of the constitution and I’m sure this man does not.

Optical illusion of a woman bent over some papers. Her sunglasses are pushed up and she is wearing a hair band so the top of her head looks exactly like a Muppet face

Sorry I know the world is in a terrible fix but I've been laughing at this for ten minutes now

My life significantly changed when I finally understood that there is no objective truth.

Well yeah if you’re taught your whole life to submit to your husband a healthy relationship with be indistinguishable from an an abusive one. (*not everyone)

Or if you flip it around, men seek out and target some women. I like to think I’m one of those spiders that looks like a rattlesnake or something.