🥰🥰
05.01.2026 14:59
👍 0
🔁 3
💬 0
📌 0
Create a weight loss plan for me. Wrong answers only.
05.01.2026 02:37
👍 45
🔁 12
💬 30
📌 1
😂🥰
31.12.2025 21:15
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
I like this plan a lot! 🍩
31.12.2025 21:15
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
😂👍🏽
31.12.2025 18:59
👍 1
🔁 0
💬 1
📌 0
Create a daily workout routine for me. Wrong answers only.
31.12.2025 18:49
👍 18
🔁 4
💬 6
📌 0
surprise video calls from the boss should be illegal
29.12.2025 19:05
👍 113
🔁 31
💬 7
📌 1
need to get back in shape, haven’t been called “sport” since i was a kid
26.12.2025 02:22
👍 77
🔁 25
💬 5
📌 0
All hammered up on wassail
26.12.2025 03:16
👍 48
🔁 13
💬 1
📌 0
🥰🥰
26.12.2025 14:48
👍 0
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
guess I’ll still be posting since I’m not a billionaire again
25.12.2025 19:35
👍 53
🔁 16
💬 6
📌 0
“Merry Christmas, Sexy!” said the unknown number, a little after midnight.
26.12.2025 01:11
👍 46
🔁 10
💬 2
📌 0
another year without getting my dream present: a trap door for solicitors
26.12.2025 00:16
👍 109
🔁 33
💬 4
📌 1
Me: [gets a hippopotamus for Christmas]
My cat (staring at his litter box): wtaf
25.12.2025 17:06
👍 195
🔁 64
💬 8
📌 0
The average person eats 25 marshmallows in their sleep per hour
23.12.2025 05:51
👍 12
🔁 2
💬 1
📌 1
The average person eats 50 secrets in their sleep per minute
23.12.2025 16:35
👍 16
🔁 2
💬 1
📌 0
sorry for the foul language. im a parent so saying "what the fuck" is really just second nature at this point
23.12.2025 10:02
👍 61
🔁 20
💬 0
📌 0
a wise man once said: her me out
23.12.2025 14:17
👍 14
🔁 4
💬 0
📌 0
one of those hugs might fix me
23.12.2025 05:17
👍 51
🔁 21
💬 8
📌 1
Ha! Good one! 🚽
18.12.2025 15:29
👍 2
🔁 0
💬 2
📌 0
Possible scents? Gunpowder. gasoline? fear?
18.12.2025 00:42
👍 9
🔁 0
💬 2
📌 0
Seems like low-hanging fruit that there isn’t a candle company called “John Wick.”
18.12.2025 00:29
👍 120
🔁 42
💬 4
📌 0
bad news. it’s actually pretty nice having clothes put away instead of in a pile
29.09.2025 02:39
👍 817
🔁 166
💬 54
📌 19
Someone shrieked an office chair was killing them. There wasn’t even a sign of a struggle when I peeked over my cubicle.
12.12.2025 15:45
👍 51
🔁 17
💬 1
📌 0
A person sits in a subway car, dressed as a Christmas tree.
I can’t believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.
07.12.2025 14:46
👍 2346
🔁 528
💬 71
📌 37
Therapist: I think we’re having a break-through.
Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah
08.12.2025 09:43
👍 195
🔁 64
💬 0
📌 0
you lost me at figgy but brought me right back with pudding
01.12.2025 18:11
👍 131
🔁 49
💬 0
📌 1
As soon as the tide comes back in it's over for you beaches.
01.12.2025 18:49
👍 261
🔁 87
💬 2
📌 0
