Straight and Christian

Why are you, as a man?

No. Heroin ruined my marriage

Stop asking me to top you you’re scaring the straight boys

Picture a straight nonbinary person who has no opposite-gender partners to have sex with and they kill themselves. This is why we need scientists to invent more genders.

What would a bluesky sexyman be? Probably a dog or a bowl of rotten meat or something huh

Hey can someone make a tumblr sexyman but in real life? I’m trying to see something

Caught my gay roommate looking at straight porn again. What’s he trying to prove?

I’m consuming used tampons from the trash at the Pizza Hut. I’m consuming used tampons from the trash at the Taco Bell. I’m consuming used tampons from the trash at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

If you have tremendous rizz like I do, men will let you push your hand down their throat ane puncture their esophagus. It’s so cool.

Men should allow me to determine whether they’ve indulged in homosexual practices by gauging the elasticity of their butt holes

Me when my husband says something

Girl leave him

Apparently my husband would rather shoot heroin than make love to me. Guess I’m unfuckable

Now that Hater’s Anthem is out it should honestly be topping the charts. Haven’t heard a catchy ass song this real and relevant in a long time

Y’all got a candle what smells like manpussy?

Me when people say sex is fun

Some bitch

Not today

My flirting strategy is to ignore a guy for the first couple months and then tell him to follow me into a spot behind a dumpster

He had lovely blood so I let him hit (me back)

The rapturous beauty of men manning

The eternal cringe of women continuing to woman

This girl thought I was joking when I said I was straight. Jokes on her lol

My half-baked moral philosophy is only impressive to stoned gay college boys so my options are limited entrapment-wise

The guy i like is gay. What do I do?

Whoa this is such a wonderful piece

Men who shop: a fringe case study

It’s so hard being a straight girl with bisexual murder patterns. So many girls get the wrong idea.

@ those who tell me not to throw rocks and bricks at people: name a better way of resolving conflict

It was so much easier for gay guys to stay closeted in the 50s because they could say shit like “mee-yow! That broad’s bosoms are the cat’s pajamas!” and people would take them serious