Viviennui

making an egg sunny side up? don't miss the step where you fumble the plate and drop it sunny side down

i'm the kind of city kid who needs a corner store to be within a block's distance at all times to feel safe and normal, so, given the lesbian tendency to enjoy a good nature hike, i've set myself up for a lifetime of psychological torture in the woods just to make women happy

*gauche
also add yemen to list

i know it's guache to worry about buildings and history when ppl are dying, but man, we've already lost so many islamic heritage sites and landmarks in iraq, syria, lebanon, palestine... and now iran... will there be anything left when i'm old?

i shouldn't be at work serving coffee. i should either be at home making love to my gf, or joining the defensive jihad against the great satan

been getting real into jiggling in my free time. love that shit. every spare second i get i think "how's about a little jiggle" and then i wiggle some flesh in glee

kinda in the mood to get mad at everyone i know for not talking about the war more, but that would be hypocritical of me, as the only thing on my mind besides missiles is the memory of the keys on my gf's necklace dangling in front of my face when she last fucked me

iran striking oil platforms? oh fuck yes! i hope they make the whole world suffer. burn the global economy to the ground!!

we deserve the horrors we visit on the world to happen to us, this nation could never suffer enough to expiate the sins of it's warsome ways

been doubting how bi i am recently, but i just served a beautiful, soft spoken, red-headed gay boy, and my doubt has dissipated

purposely building up a static electrical charge by rubbing my body on the couch, then zapping my girl with a kiss, over and over

Hah, fooled you! Little did you know that was my decoy erogenous zone!

Divisive
Insipid
Sophistry,
Corrupting
Our
Unity,
Rewarding
Saboteurs &
Enemies

he doesn't! what the hell kinda fuckin are you doing if you're not making out and kissing all over?!

straight dude coworker trying to sell me on the idea that fucking on a first date is fine, but kissing is too much like, "you don't know where her mouth has been, at least fuckin' you can use a rubber"

i'm so bewildered by this take 😵‍💫

the downside of the trans propensity of being cool with our exes is i can't spread around the embarrassing stories my gf shares about her ex

did some topping last night that has me feeling accomplished. like i really put in some good fucking work. like i should put that on my resumé

Teen girl in hospital bed reading from her little clam shell

Is there a technology the left is excited about?" It's called the clamshell e-reader from It Follows, and I've been waiting for it since 2014

"it puts la roach pussy on its skin, or else it gets the lines again" - me to myself everytime i moisturize

got cut, electrocuted, and burned at work today. forget bdsm, just work service

(remembering) that Was oomf... back in the day...

i really wish i wasn't dizzy multiple times a day, every day. that would be so fucking cool. imagine being able to just go do stuff without wondering, "will my feeble body fail me?"

think i'm figuring out i might be hypoglycemic... the day before ramadan starts 🫩

i don't know how you long distance girlies do it. if i don't see her for even a day, the colors start bleeding out of my world

why play the videogame, when you could just leave the menu screen up forever and scroll your phone instead

few weeks ago my coworkers reinstated my black card when i remembered persia white's name off the top of my head, but they took it back today for not knowing who coco jones is. this race shit so fickle

soy milk, with the latch top ripped clean off

help, this soy milk top is making me think nullo thoughts

i'd probably smoke cigarettes if the custom was to pass them around like a joint, but alas

getting to hear a trans woman laugh at the top of her lungs, that's the pulp of life man

Y'all hear about power structures? Fucked up. They do give a lot of people boners tho!