sproots

I'm looking into work coaching and I'm moving house soon but everything could have been so much easier and so much better if someone just gave it a chance

working with only neurotypical people who use the hierarchy like its the bible and living in a situation where I can't say when something is wrong and I get stared at and ignored if I do something wrong has really done a number on me

A screenshot of a poem in my notes app that reads: a silent wall between me and others that grows louder every day the twists and turns of my stomach the knot in my throat the other things that won't go away I speak and I'm heard but its only the sound the words I use are walked around twisted like my stomach the knot in my throat replaced with things I never spoke this is not my house or home seeds I gave you've never grown oh the things I could have shown if my words were left alone this knot in my throat is made of bone

the autistic experience + the realisation that nothing will change

oopsie made a woopsie!

doechii has taken over my entire brain

another year, another "thank fuck i don't work in hospitality anymore"

I'm so glad I left twitter like a million years ago

love u toasty 💖

but I would rather be like me than like other people. there are so many reasons why. autism makes my life really hard but when it comes down to it I wouldn't like to be without it.

it is hard never knowing who to trust and just praying that the person you're telling your secrets to won't tell anyone who will use it to hurt you even if that person is your best friend. I never know if people like me or want to talk to me so I just try my best and hope I didn't get it wrong again

growing up as me means realising every day how much I can't understand people no matter how hard I try. I'm glad that I've found people like me but I also wish more people would try to understand me the way I try for them. this goes for work and family but also the world overall.

last post inspired by seeing a photo on here from NASA and then seeing people in the comments calling it out for being AI because the photo is also on wikipedia

I've been really into the middle ages recently and though I know I would be absolutely miserable if I was thrown back to that time, some peace and quiet and no option of using technology would be lovely.

oh and I did tear up one time but it was because I never thought I'd hear that song live and it was very emotional. here is a cool photo of their bass player :)

it might seem silly but when I'm at my lowest and everything is too much for me I can listen to this band and feel like there is something in the world that I can understand and handle. I'm nothing like them but I feel so connected to what they create. I'm so grateful.

update: did not seek out frog as we were too busy eating Korean corndogs. I've been feeling super cringe about this little thread but it felt exactly how I expected and it was one of the best nights of my life.

I was perceived on more than one occasion and this pic was thrown TO ME!

barrier for the first time in a long time ✨️

I've also been following their tour via reddit and they've put this giant froge up in every city they've been to so I'm gonna seek him out before we go hehe (the tiny man is their drummer)

I usually cry when I go to concerts because the artist has usually helped me through a really hard time. I don't think I will cry at this one. I think I will feel safe and at home, nostalgic for the old songs and excited for the new ones.

people used to make fun of me for listening to them and being so obsessed with them to the point where my best friend didn't even know I liked them till about 6 months ago. it's been so healing showing them all of this incredible music. I really, really love this band. I love them to my core.

I'm seeing vampire weekend for the first time tonight and it feels so strange. I still remember the first time I heard their music and I was immediately hooked. it feels like I'm going to see some old friends, which feels silly to say, but they've just always been there.

*go. two posts in and we have our first typo

life is weird because I want to make things and be active on The Internet but also any time I'm perceived I got back into my goblin hole and don't come out until I make a new profile that doesn't have any followers :) hehe

here is an avocado plant I'm growing. my friend gave me a ready-to-grow pit inside a ziploc bag that i put on the windowsill and didn't look at for 3 months. it had the swirly stem when I got it out 😌 she's thriving 😌

the makeup too 🥹🥹 love