I’ve obviously drawn this portrait in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my picture is the image on the right.
Review from the customer:
‘You cannot be serious!’
Denis likes double-fault herring, asking if he’s allowed to take his racket into the local library, and saying ‘prawn balls please’ like a tennis umpire upon arrival in the Chinese takeaway.
New commission finished!!
This handsome fella belongs to the wonderfully lovely Lyn F, and he was drawn on day 5 of my ‘500 miles for March’ challenge.
I don’t know what he’s called, but I’ve named him Denis Balls.
I’ve obviously drawn this portrait in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my picture is the image on the right.
Review from the customer:
‘I know you’ve been drawing these halfway through your daily walks…..were you in a rush to get home today?’
Myles likes yomped herring, interrupting picnicking families with the offer of a breakdancing battle, and doing blow-offs that sound like a duck trying to undo a pair of dungarees when it’s desperate for a wee.
New commission finished!!
This handsome fella belongs to the wonderfully lovely Sian Grant, and he was drawn on day 4 of my ‘500 miles for March’ challenge.
I don’t know what he’s called, but I’ve named him Myles Travelled.
I’ve obviously drawn this portrait in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my picture is the image on the right.
Review from the customer:
‘Some artists would take this in their stride. You appear to have stubbed your toe on it.’
Onya likes trudged herring, massive novelty prawns, and doing blow-offs that sound like a duck impressing a group of rowdy toddlers with its velociraptor impression.
New commission finished!!
The fantastic feline (that’s a fancy word for cat) belongs to the wonderfully lovely Kat McNabb, and she was drawn on day 3 of my ‘500 miles for March’ challenge.
I don’t know what she’s called, but I’ve named her Onya Feet.
I’ve obviously drawn this portrait in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my picture is the image on the right.
Review from the customer:
‘I didn’t realise you’d be drawing these portraits WHILST walking. I assumed you’d stop to draw them….’
Myles likes well-travelled herring, walking around a hardware shop with a string in his step, and doing blow-offs that sound like a duck being impressed by the length of an organic spring onion in the greengrocers.
New commission finished!!
This handsome fella belongs to the wonderfully lovely Kim Young, and he was drawn on day 2 of my ‘500 miles for March’ challenge.
I don’t know what he’s called, but I’ve named him Myles Walker.
I’ve obviously drawn this portrait in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my picture is the image on the right.
Review from the customer:
‘If this travelled 500 miles, I’d want it to travel 500 more. Preferably in the other direction.’
Flo likes hiked herring, wondering if the nudist club art group have fully clothed models at their life drawing classes, and doing blow-offs that sound like a duck getting its beak stuck in a cagoule zip.
New commission finished!!
The beautiful pooch belongs to the wonderfully lovely Elizabeth Bristow, and she was drawn on day 1 of my ‘500 miles for March’ challenge.
I don’t know what she’s called, but I’ve named her Flo Claimers.
I’ve obviously drawn this one in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my portrait is the image on the right.
Review from the customer:
‘I don’t know if it’s a drawing of a balloon, a baked potato, or a baked potato themed balloon, but its definitely not a portrait of my dog’
I don’t know what he’s called, but I’ve named him Corey Entation.
Corey likes globophobic herring, telling people half-baked stories about a recent visit to Greggs, and doing blow-offs that sound like a duck on day one of a bricklaying course.
New commission finished!!
Don’t you hate it when you run out of landscape paper, so have to use portrait paper and it makes the presentation of your artwork look all wrong?!
Anyway, this picture was submitted by the wonderfully lovely Abi Doughty.
I’ve obviously drawn this one in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my portrait is the image on the right.
Review from the customer:
‘It’s inspired me to take up painting. Painting over it.’
I don’t know what he’s called, but I’ve named him Weasel Knievel.
Weasel Knievel likes risk taking herring, ‘bring your own emotional stabilisers to work’ day, and doing blow-offs that sound like a duck doing a wheelie on a moped.
New commission finished!!
I didn’t know that people kept weasels as pets. Or maybe this one just broke into Susan Lawrence Helke’s house one night, which could explain its obvious shock at being photographed.
Review from the customer:
‘It’s the portrait equivalent of you taking me for dinner in a foreign country and trying to order from a menu in a language you don’t speak.
You’ve made a right hash of your interpretation, and I’ve been left with something I didn’t want and don’t recognise.’
Spike likes magnetic herring, saying ‘see it, say it, sort it’ when pairing up his socks down the laundrette, and doing blow-offs that sound like a duck doing an impression of an incompetent beekeeper.
New commission finished!!
This picture was submitted by the wonderfully lovely Emma Field.
I don’t know what he’s called, but I’ve named him Spike Grinagain.
Review from the customer:
‘You know that TV show ‘You’ve Been Framed’, the one where people get paid money for sharing their mistakes? You’re like that in many ways.
And, to be clear, this isn’t getting framed’
I don’t know what he’s called, but I’ve named him Jimi Tenlicks.
Jimi likes hazy herring, giving up his faith for lent, and doing blow-offs that sound like a fat duck being surprised by its own feet when they occasionally come into view whilst walking.
New commission finished!!
This portrait was requested by the wonderfully lovely Gigi Zheng.
I’m not entirely sure what make of animal it is, but if I was forced to guess, I’d probably say a male hamster performing some sort of courtship display.
I’ve obviously drawn this one in my ultra-realistic style, so usual reminder that my portrait is the image on the right.
Review from the customer:
‘The emotions crêped up on me, and you’d batter believe I’m flipping out!’
Sam likes brisk herring, aftershave that smells like misguided ambition, and lying awake at night wondering how the majority of the winter Olympic sports came to be.
New commission finished!!
The wonderfully lovely Madi Crusan took this picture of her cat in a pose that can only be described as impersonating my Mam on a video call.
I don’t know what he’s called, but I’ve named him Sam Cakeday.
