“Ill-gotten”? “Misbegotten”? I must have had “gotten” fever as I quickly typed this and hit “send” without proofreading between bites of Whole Foods Organic French Vanilla Granola
This is 2016 shit. The bill needs to call for the expropriation of the entirety of the ill-gotten wealth of the billionaire class and the repurposing of Epstein’s island into a prison for the misbegotten dipshits of the ruling elite
“Pete, you’re here for a cleaning, not, what did you want me to do again? Insert this Thin Mint into your molar ‘just in case’?”
The problem with kids today is that they’re brutally frame mogging each other when they could be compassionately frame mogging each other. They need to stop looksmaxxing and start lovemaxxing. Why are they jestergooning when they could be friendshipgooning?
The ol' "Rushkoff Special"
I guess the apple really doesn’t fall far from the helicopter blade
The Beginnings weekly graphic with a PENSIVE photo of my guest comedian Mort Burke sitting in a chair in a well-appointed study with the Beginnings logo superimposed over it.
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
My pal & fellow silly-billy Mort Burke joins me today to talk Marxian analyses of video podcasts, silliness as a response to despair, familial scapegoats, an existential crisis from birth + MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsMort
A possible future news article showing a small frog sitting on a person's fingers with the headline "World's First Socialist Frog"
I’ve heard of “go woke, go broke” but “go woke, go CROAK”???
(Note: this commentary only works if there is a news article at some point in the future with the headline:)
To distract myself from the Imperial Collapse, I have come up with THE WORST TASKMASTER PANEL EVER, excluding sex criminals and Nazis, who like an evil Voltron could come together to make the most unpleasant 10 hours of TV in history:
Fran Lebowitz
David Mamet
Chevy Chase
Matt Rife
Gallagher II
Guys, cut the BBC some slack. They only had two hours and priority one was to edit out any condemnation of Israel turning hundreds of thousands of people into molecules. Under those time constraints, some racist slurs are just going to slip through.
A needlepoint (?) of the aphorism “Let this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair”
Damn, can’t I let it do both?
I don’t e-mail my best friend in the world with the frequency elite pedophiles e-mail each other. Every fives months, I’m like, “Hey dude, what’s up?” Every ten minutes they’re like, “Do you have a quicklime and oil barrel connection?”
The weekly Beginnings graphic, which in this case is just a 1990s press pic of the wonderful band cub, with the Beginnings logo superimposed over it.
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Great talk with Lisa M and Lisa G of cub! The lifelong existential mission of defining yourself, sanding off your edges, ruthless ambition, learning how to fail and MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/Beginningscub
It is a true marvel of propaganda that the two biggest antagonists in any cop drama are drug dealers and Internal Affairs. What could be more evil than both the scumbags flooding the streets with crack & the people rooting out the systemic corruption at the heart of our rotting society?
“It’s called pedomaxxing, and the world’s wealthy just can’t get enough of it!”
Do the ruling elite think of their rampant criminality like artists think of aesthetic movements? "Oh this sex trafficking/blackmail ring is in conversation with the Belgian corruption of the 1980s" or "We're not sure whether this period can be called Post-Sinister or The New Depravity."
For the entirety of my life, the two most evil things a human could do were commit genocide and make/own child pornography, and within two years, it’s been revealed that pretty much everyone in any position more powerful than Chipotle regional manager is involved in one or the other or both
This Has to Be Butter or My Entire Worldview Will Collapse
If You Try and Tell Me One More Time This Isn’t Butter, I Can't Be Held Responsible for My Actions
First I Find Out the Government Is Lying to Me About Everything and Now I Have to Deal With This Butter Thing?
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
If This Isn’t Butter, I'll Suck a Bag of Rocks
Look, Just Stop It. It's Butter, Okay? Methinks Thou Dost Protest Too Much
Oh, It's Not Butter? You Wanna Try and Convince Me Lizardmen Are Real Too?
I Refuse to Believe It’s Not Butter, Even After Reading the Ingredients
Mormonmaxxing by wearing 50 pairs of temple garments at once
A screencap from the PULSE-POUNDING Netflix film The Rip directed by Smokin’ Aces’ Joe Carnahan. The closed caption says “That’s one solid rip”
Garry Shandling on the set of The Larry Sanders Show
Ten minutes after WWII ended, the Western World became Kevin McDonald in that Kids in the Hall "Never put salt in your eyes" sketch.
"What did everyone say about genocide? Never again. Never again. Never. Never. Again. Again. Always again. Always again."
The Beginnings weekly graphic with a cool-looking picture of this week's guest Mary Lattimore dressed in black holding a bouquet of spring flowers with the Beginnings logo superimposed over it
Some distraction from dystopia with a brand-new episode of Beginnings...
Great talk today with harpist Mary Lattimore! Harp is opposite lobster (?), wanting a beautiful life, the family farm, being aware of mortality at a young age, Z for Zachariah and MORE!
🎧 tinyurl.com/BeginningsLa...
"Hey, do you want to have brunch with this mass murderer? He has a tax scheme that can save you $20 on your sex trafficking operation."
-all elite correspondence for the last 100 years
These people are very, very stupid or very, very mentally ill. I cannot say this enough, the theoretical underpinnings of gen AI are so faulty, you might as well have based it on medieval medicine. Gen AI will never actually work, and it certainly will never become a God Machine.
If a person in tech - especially in the upper echelons of the industry - tells you they are "worried about the dangers of AI becoming sentient", you should treat them with the same contempt as if they had just said, "I'm worried the underground lizardmen are going to start a war with the surface".
If Westworld is supposed to be an amusement park where the wealthy abuse and murder beings that can’t really fight back, how is that a vacation from their everyday life?
Paramount is showcasing "black voices", while Peacock is "amplifying black voices". No explanation of why they're suddenly doing that in February though... a mystery...
No, no. It's fine that residuals are dying. I've got a new constant stream of small checks: class action settlements from companies that failed to keep my personal data safe.
*Looks up at the gate above*
“Work make you free. Work makes you free, folks. Does it? Maybe here. Maybe death is the ultimate freedom. Floating forever in the cosmos. Hi, little planet. Just you and Stan Chera floating forever.”
-Trump cutting the ribbon at Auschwitz II outside Tallahassee
