Ari

The reactions to Bluesky having a new CEO

one issue both sides can agree on: My Jacket Is Too Tight

getting serious replies to my Travis Kelce jokes so here are the facts of the case:

has Kelce's play dropped off: yes

is Kelce good enough to keep playing in the NFL: also yes

should Kelce keep playing football after the world's wealthiest, most popular musician wrote a song about his penis: no

the man simply needs a mad libs QB room to feel comfortable

and i thought MY groceries were expensive! folks,

My daylight savings time take is that I don’t even want to know what time it is

the funniest year of my life was when i taught second grade religious school at my synagogue. had four students: one teacher’s pet, one space alien, and two of the most insufferable smartasses of all time

when the edible hits and you try to play it cool

please yell something mean at Doc for me

imo swan boy takes place in an alternate timeline where millennials never got into any of those things

A Room of One’s Own (Madison WI)

This current arc is possibly even better than the fantasy baseball arc

SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN

“Sure, I know all about torture! I had to watch Wisconsin play offense!!!”

these came out around the same time i think

1) TDH’s Act V: Hymns with the Devil in Confessional
2) whatever that Arctic Monkeys album after AM was called. Tranquility Base etc etc

objectively perfect Onion subhed

man i need to find me an Alexander Romantique

two different notre dame athletic directors is crazy

yeah afaik the only part of the trademark they care about protecting is blue fields in college

got briefly excited bc I thought it said Bejalvin

Today I Will Look The Burrito Man In The Eye and other stories of manifesting success

i’ve solved this problem by just making two whole sandwiches

the other version of this I love is that Boise State owns the rights to colored turf in general but they’ll let you do it for $1 as long as it’s not a similar blue

our board secretary likes to feed my minutes into GPT to see if they’re compliant with Robert’s Rules. #1 that’s not even a thing LLMs are good at and #2 why don’t you know the rules, you’re the secretary

Czechia pitcher Ondřej Satoria calls his changeup The Worker and honestly, kudos on the name. nailed it.

tapping the sign

if punk is a thing of the past then what are all these gigs i’ve been going to for the last several years

dibs