everyone always asks who was phone but no one ever asks how was phone
23.11.2025 01:27
👍 0
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
everyone always asks who was phone but no one ever asks how was phone
my favorite thing is complaining about being cold while refusing to wear shoes
yes, dear, I am aware that he hung from the rafters and ate a handful of cigarettes
I think that's kinda his thing
I'm sad that Peacemaker is over but I'm not sad that I don't have to hear my spouse's "I saw Foxy Shazam live before they were cool" story on a weekly basis anymore
if you make videos with your head and pointing finger floating in another video please know I hate you and I hope you drop your phone in a public toilet
but the pearl clutching over it makes me want to throw myself off a fucking cliff
that being said I don't plan to watch the Ryan Murphy show because his stuff kinda sucks these days
he was a casual murder enthusiast with a taxidermy hobby
jesus christ does my eye twitch every time I see some dumb redditor call Ed Gein a serial killer
wakey wakey
and you gotta buy the expensive rice
the secret is patience and caramelized onions
who needs drugs when you can spend an afternoon making an excellent risotto?
is it just me or does the shitty opera singer from IWTV S1 look like his catchphrase should be super easy, barely an inconvenience?
inside me there are two wolves
one is dying to see the eyeball monster burrow into this guy's head
the other panics when he is in peril because they are enchanted by his vibes
stop screaming, Lorraine, we all know you've seen this shit before
at this point in their career the Warrens should not be afraid of ghosts anymore
currently watching Nathan For You with pure intentions and zero lust in my heart for this strange little man
if Cracker Barrel changed its logo before the internet went to shit:
"does the Cracker Barrel sign look different or is it just me?"
"I dunno"
"I think it used to have a guy on it or something"
"yeah I think there was a guy at some point"
"huh"
"yup"
my cat probably gets tired of me saying "hey fat guy where's your little coat?" every time I see him but that's his problem because he hasn't learned how to talk yet
I'd like to take a moment to voice my appreciation for Ryan Kruger's Street Trash remake
me: did you see the pic of the Toxic Avenger's dong!?
spouse: no
me: do you wanna?
spouse: no
people who make TV shows, I am begging you to bump up the brightness by like 6%
the "I'm dating a robot" subreddit has been entertaining as hell today
new KOTH has got me feeling feelings
"I would never poison myself with a Beefy Double Deluxe Heart Attack on a Bun"
yes you would you piece of shit
fuck you
there are a lot of assholes on the internet but the ones on Reddit who claim they never eat fast food are the worst
sitting in a dark, quiet room while spouse is at a social gathering I politely declined to attend
this is the life, y'all
getting a new follower notification: :)
realizing it's another onlyfans account: :(
