This is exciting and new!

You’re almost there, but I’m not sure where.

I recently locked my keys in my car; I’m on the short list!

The lesson of this and the DEI lawsuit is that if you fight them in court, you will win. If you cave, you are a chump.

I liked that your super-intense message took the time to use proper punctuation.

Go to print!

Great work, Dork!

Where are their spouses? Do they live on the Coast Guard base?

Rumor had it one of the pups only barked in Spanish.

Solid.

there are two things about this, one is that there is no prime minister of switzerland, he's talking about the president of the swiss confederation, which is a different thing entirely, and, two, i'm not sure you could make a more persuasive case to SCOTUS for nuking tariffs than this one

Thank you for your service!

I just watched five minutes of Industry for the first time and I am basically just understanding the finance stuff in terms of tone the way a dog understands human language.

He's slick like crunchy peanut butter!

Good Christ, that's callow.

You’re hardcore, but just not hardcore enough.

Still tiny and gross.

If Bilbo had Chat GPT

I wonder if Bovino will auction off his tiny coat in order to help pay his court costs.

Even if a shooting is 100% justified, the shooter should still be removed from the street and evaluated by a counselor. They’ve just taken a human life! This is not a serious organization.

He’s so tiny.

Oh, Mina, noooooo …….!!!

Gotta say, this is pretty optimal.

Imaginary men, get your shit together!

ICE agents only receive 300 hours of training before they’re turned loose on an unsuspecting public. Cops, get 1200 hours. Hairdressers, on the other hand, need 2400 hours. Make of that what you will.

He'll be back in three months with a rebrand. There's too much money in this to stay away.

Josh, please help me start the new year with maximum pep.

perfect metaphors don’t exis—

Girl, no!

They are disappearing people. Listen to this. Nightmare. (And the longer they stay the more money core civic makes)