Happy birthday pretty lady!

Get me pregnant it'll fix me

No

no. Emmsi says no.

NO! 👿👿👿NO DOUBLE STARCH

Cum. Precum even.

It's so exhausting to be constantly annoyed for no reason 😟😣

Waa it's girlfwend

No. Can't order what they want. It should be what I consider normal and good and balanced im right I am the righteousness that's against double starch orders!

There's a dot on your peepee

Ok I have a small thing that irks me

When people get take out Chinese and gets both noodles and rice. Like, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT GET EITHER OR! YOU FREAKS!

just get either noodles or rice and then a bunch of sides! God! Fucking hell!

FOOD!

My gf said
"Mindless ✅ obedient ❌ pet ✅ almost there"

My steak too juicy

What if han and luke were siblings and Leia was a stepmom

I am nothing if not specific in intent.

Now the meltdown that follows when said specificity isn't followed to exactly what's in my head, well.. We also need to mention that

My wife said I'm her "mindless autistic obedient pet"

My lobster is too buttery guys 😌😌😌

Guys guys guys....

LEON S KENNEDY IS MARRIED TO ADA AND CHRIS OKAY? it's like a divorced child situation. Chris and Ada take missions alternatively so Leon gets to spend time with the one whose home, then if either goes missing the other 2 look for the missing one. Healthy relationship stuff

😘😘😘I'm always down 😌

Are you offering cutie? 😘

Getting off the internet and getting into your kitchen to make you and your partners a single sandwich. Then I unevenly divide it and watch you all uncomfortably no you have it to each other for half an hour

My fav might surprise some but it's sliced eggs, shredded carrots and lettuce with I believe garlic sauce?

That's me 😂

If anyone wants to fuck all the frustrations I experienced today out of me, I'd love it

I made Asian style oven baked ribs. It was soooooo good😭 served it with a spicy cucumber salad and rice

Post cum emmesi is brain mush softy

Uhhh *pat pat*

Happy international women's day girlies, I'll join in on the trend, you're walecum~

DnD but instead of dice you use the octopus from world cup choose what happens

Real. Been me for the past few days 😭

🥺🥺🥺