Markwayne Mullin, standing on a box hidden behind a podium so he can appear as tall as the debate opponent next to him.
Markwayne Mullin will be a step up from Kristi Noem.
05.03.2026 20:48
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Markwayne Mullin, standing on a box hidden behind a podium so he can appear as tall as the debate opponent next to him.
Markwayne Mullin will be a step up from Kristi Noem.
White Americans this morning.
I didn't understand hardly anything Bad Bunny sang, but I wanna hear more of it.
MAGA watching the Bad Bunny halftime show
I tthink a Super Bowl where the game and commercials both suck is an ominous portent for the coming year.
So Brad Pitts whole gimmick now is looking like my 60 year old ex brother-in-law who has 5 DUI's and only hits on 21 year olds?
Are you a rich person with a few extra pounds?
Try GLP-1pillmill dot com!
Does Draft Kings give odds on how likely they are to be implicated in a massive sports cheating scandal?
Pagliacci: I'm so depressed.
Doctor: You should go see this show, it's got the worlds greatest clown.
Pagliacci: Um...
Doctor: Their name is Pagliacci.
Pagliacci: You have been my doctor for 15 years and you still don't know what I do for a living?
And even then if you admit to previous use but its a reasonable distance in your past they'll give you a pass.
They understand you went to college.
Not really. Modern masks can seal over beards just fine
Im waiting for the docu-drama 10 years from now about the AI Crash.
In 2026, I think they're more worried about you being broke than a freak in the sheets.
Its not really the mask that expires (unless its dry rotted), its the filters.
You gotta make sure to replace the filters.
If you're looking for a proper military grade mask, just like army uses looking for two things:
1) a built in sippy straw that tastes awful and will probably give you the runs.
2) a no fog air circulation system that doesn't quite work.
As a former delivery driver who has chauffeured pizzas during a hurricane:
If you're not willing to go out in this weather, don't make them. You'll survive a weekend without nachos.
But if you gotta get delivery, you better tip like they're your favorite stripper.
Miller looks like Ozempic Mussolini.
Can't wait to see the justifications from the usual suspects for not voting for Kamala after this one.
The Golden Fleet is an awfully Chinese name for a guy who hates China.
My apartment is done man.
Im super excited for this season of Stranger Things so I can see which "teenager" is already balding.
Started my first fire of the winter.
It's cool, no one was in the building at the time.
If the people defending Platner found out Pete Buttigeig got a nazi tattoo while drunk in the navy and kept his whole life, they would literally drag him out of his home and hang him.
Happy Why is the Bank Closed but the Rest of Us Have to Work Day.
Dog: *stands up to stretch*
Hasan:
You hate Taylor Swift because you have a parasocial hatred of celebrities based on your emotionally stunted desire to be seen as cool and counter culture.
I hate her because she murdered my entire family in a centuries long blood feud.
We are not the same.
This finally cemented a vibe I've had for a while:
AI art is MAGA coded.
It's finally time I can tell y'all I performed a set at the Riyadh Comedy Festival!
I didn't want to say anything at first because I was afraid I would crash and bomb and that would be embarrassing.
But I can proudly say I killed it*!
.
.
*a Saudi LGBTQ and Women's rights journalist
