Ash | Ayumu 🤍🦑

Take care of yourself, Ma 🫂
I know this feeling too well, and the only thing I have found helps me is this, too. A break, doing what you feel you need right now.
Hope you feel better soon 🖤

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His feelings.
Even before his transformation into an Illithid, he didn't understand his feelings very well, and now that some feelings have become much more intense and he has completely lost access to others... it doesn't help him at all.

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Not everyone will understand, indeed.😌

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Don't do that to me pls, or I'll write a doctoral thesis.
Xal deserves much much more than my meaningless writing.

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Xal agrees to be the leader only until he finds another leader he wants to follow. Although this had never happened before, and he either preferred to be a loner or was a forced leader.
But in the end, Xal met the Emperor and gladly followed him.

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I can't stand four tropes:
1. I can fix them.
2. Love at first sight.
3. Sweet romance.
4. Sex is the core of a relationship.

Instead, I enjoy the slow, sometimes very slow path to mutual trust and acceptance. So, all of Xal's relationships are like that.

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My diva.
Xal was raised as a male because he looked more like a male, and he even got used to this role, but in reality he simply did not care about his gender. He has always believed, and still believes, that he can be anyone, anytime, and that it all depends solely on his desire and mood.

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A black heart, bleeding red blood, bound in silver and gold chains. Well, that's Xal's palette.
🟥⬛🔲🟨

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✔️Dark Fantasy. (My favorite genre, along with the even darker Grimdark)
+
✔️Grimdark elements
✔️Surrealism elements
✔️(Body)Horror elements
+
I often include in my stories certain philosophical questions that torment me and to which I cannot find answers.

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High-alcohol cherry wine. Xal loves this wine and can drink it even as an Illithid.
But in truth, I associate him with any strong alcoholic beverage. The more bitter and intense the taste, the stronger the association, cause Xal himself is intense, bitter, intoxicating.

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You can't lose what you don't have...
Xal had nothing to lose except, perhaps, his pretty face. When he became an Illithid, he lost his humanoid body, but he wasn't too upset about it. As for the rest, destruction, death, and war with the Absolute became his gateway to a new, desired life.

Xenoceras in the Starfall Radiance from Infinity Nikki 💙✨

[ #illithid #dnd #mindflayer #dndoc #furry #furryart #art #ocsky #oc ]

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No, not at all. I don't really care, actually.
I only start to worry when I myself stop understanding my character. When, under the influence of my own feelings and emotions, I change Xal's personality beyond recognition. However, that doesn't happen very often, and I try to fix it quickly.

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Restless
Ruthless
Chaotic
Cynical

or

My
Piece
Of
Shit

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"I don't need help, I can handle everything myself."
"Everything will be fine from now on, I promise."
"I'm fine and I'll be fine, don't worry."
"I don't care."

Not always, but often these phrases mean the exact opposite of what is said. 😌

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Xal's biological "mother" is a defective Illithid.
It has the cold, calculating mind of an Illithid, but its body is humanoid. It is a disgusting mutant by normal Mind Flayer standards.
It is also the head of the cult/colony of Illithids who profess the philosophy/religion of Thoon.

😂 I imagine it to be picking out individual braincells one by one with the chopsticks and philosophizing on their unique 'flavor' notes in elaborate detail. This Illithid knows what’s up.

…why is this something I could see Ayumu doing if she found a tasty brain and had a lot of time to spare? xD

Also, I know I keep saying it for weeks, but I really look forward to what else Xal and Ayumu will get up to in Sshamath 🖤
It's just a pain that I REALLY do need to finish the other WIP first because it establishes some important lore for Ayumu in relation to The Seeing One, among other things 😅

It would be a shame if they did, especially if the setting is based in/around Menzoberranzan. Cruelty and cold ruthlessness just IS part of the core of Drow society in the Underdark.
I find Drow lore really interesting, in big parts due to the darker aspects of it. So I hope they'll do it justice 👀

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Deep meditation.
In addition to meditation, Xal always loved touching hair. Braiding it, tangling it with his fingers, just touching it... Somehow it soothed him.
When he lived in Sshamath, he often braided his lil brother's hair because his brother wasn't very good at doing it himself.

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Xal wore the same clothes throughout all three acts. 😔

This sounds like an excellent story module, btw. I'm seconding the hope for something along those lines in the BG3 universe sometime down the line 🙏🏼

I imagine this is an alternate reality in which Kealen's teleportation spell back to his temple failed, and he woke up and found himself stranded in a completely different world instead 😂 If Ayumu could speak to him right now, she would just say:

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Xal vs The Emperor?
I love the Emperor, and Xal too, but we both know that compared to Xal, he is weak and even pathetic. Xal won't even have to try to defeat him. So fuck this fight and gods, it's not fair. Xal would not dare harm him.

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They <3
@ashlynnaska.bsky.social

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Service. Unquestioning, unconditional service.
For Xal, service was always beneath his dignity.
Simply put, he served only himself and his Patron, and his pride would never allow him to serve anyone else.

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Far Step - Fart Step
He would only use this spell on those he REALLY loves <3

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Magic, everything related to it.
Xal is extremely fascinated by magic and its nature, and when it comes to magic, it takes a tremendous effort for him to shut up and stop philosophizing about magic core. He also likes to talk about how awful artificers are and how cruelly they treat magic.

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Xal told the story of how he stole a precious relic from pirates in Luskan and how he fought for it with the whole city and even killed the leader of the pirates, who was also the ruler of the city...