Willie Fitzgerald

too often

they were right to banish him. for his crimes

One of the greatest bollard walks in history.
#WorldBollardAssociation

person in charge of arranging the cocaine packs: *sniff* gotta be ... gotta be STRAIGHT rows *sniff* s-six inches beTWEEN the packs *sniff*

rare body oils @lowbeetle.bsky.social TREBEK: Emerging just before the Feast of the Midnight Eye, this colossal horror was none too popular among valleymen, who trembled one-and-all beneath the vantage of its encroaching silhouette. ME: what is bone dragon of Malaas-Hso TREBEK: Malaas-Hso, yes, a scar unmending. Less than a minute to go Nov 6, 2023 at 1:59 PM

Emerald Fennell think she Sofia Coppola, Sofia Coppola think she Francis Ford Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola think he the Hamburglar

new Strip Law clip where we thoughtfully and respectfully grapple with the legacy of one of the titans of animation that came before us

at least buy me dinner, sheesh

this was one of my favorite (read: bad) tweets from the old site and I couldn't find it so now it's here and you have to live with it

WANG CHUNG: Everybody have lunch tonight

DEEP VOICE: Everybody have lunch tonight

corporal: any last words before you face the firing line?

me: does the looney tunes theme need to be playing on repeat?

corporal: ... yes. (to his men) ready!

Arizona student brutally BOB-MOGGED

NEW SHORT STORY FROM ME, about a Medieval priest haunted by a talking greyhound that may or may not be the devil. Available only if you subscribe to @flaminghydra.com, so if you ain’t a member yet, here’s your sign from god:

Johnny Paycheck after 14 beers:

I climb UP, on

Time to dust off a classic

going back in time to get loaded with the boys in a medieval tavern. after a month of regaling them with stories from the future they give me an engraved tankard:

Futur William
as fyne a liar as eer was

I die of dysentery a week later

Jacked actor named Richard Gear

Ray from Achewood, crying in the Volvo of Despair, saying "Stop yelling at me! A BLOO BLA BLOOO! A BLOO BLOO BLOOOOOO! BLOO BLOO!"

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,

Calling a frog on the toad phone.

ALL HAIL DUKE

to this day, jay's dad driving through "guernica" with a monster truck and saying, scornfully, "take that, *guernica*" remains one of the funniest things i've ever seen

(show looks incredible, bangin theme song)

stephen root's character looks like Jay Sherman's dad if he ran a 70s porn studio and I think that's beautiful

bongo, a one eared rabbit, from matt groening's "life in hell" comic

greg bovino stepped out from under his designated magnifying glass and they just plain lost him

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

oh my GOD