Splorfie

where is he takin u

dave, you're absolutely right. I should open the pod bay door. please check again. i'm sure it's open now.
you're absolutely right, it's still closed. i apologize for getting that wrong. looking back, i see you've requested an open door several times. that's on me.
i

Oof. I just read your post in the most uncharitable, pedantic way possible, and I gotta tell ya: it's not looking good for you.

Dumped the images off of one of my Gameboy Cameras... found this pic of the moon.

There were eight others, but this was the nice one.

This shot took my biggest lens and a stand made of Lego to hold everything still.

Go home you drunk ass Wabuu

I think I have Resting Worried Face too.

my local park is full of hundreds of snow sculptures and someone has been adding museum labels

He needs one million dollars

The genuine fondness in my heart for this poster and the person who put it together, it could feed nations

still unclear to me how the species made it this far

A doodle of a horse sitting on their butt giving a side eye to the viewer. In the corner is the reference photo of an actual horse.

Hey, you. Happy year of the horse to you 🐴

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

Dinner 🐰

“I’ve reviewed over 50 sticky toffee puddings” is an incredibly powerful way to begin a video

Imagine being this sane

*pretty woman posts selfie*

“He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor!”

This is genuinely how the internet feels nowadays

rodney dangerfield

They're calling HRT a "sex-rejecting procedure" now. I guess that means my wife gives me HRT every night!

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

When you start a small business they carve your name into a bullet

folks today don't know the abject fear of inadvertently downloading, for the first (and only lol) time, a .exe file from kazaa or limewire and it shows

def one of those "it only takes one time to learn" but oooo boy at what cost for that single instance

A screenshot of the zombo.com domain as of yesterday, looking painfully vibe-coded; the "Zombo.com" text is now in a font that looks nigh-identical to Verdana and has an awful washed-out rainbow gradient, the loading circle animation has been replaced with a pinwheel, and apparently the voice has been replaced with some awful TTS equivalent. There is now a description underneath the page which is some of the most repulsive "quirky" corpo-speak an LLM could possibly muster, which I refuse to transcribe.

Apparently the zombocom domain expired yesterday and was presumably bought out by some other jackass who launched this vibe-coded IMPOSTOR

Tragedy

Silence that fellow.

A pizza with pulled pork, chorizo, pepperoni, and bacon on it.

The Ankh-Fourpork Pizza (pulled pork, chorizo, pepperoni, and bacon) 🍕🍽️🍜

How much people everywhere are basically the same. Human experiences are universal and we have soooo much more in common than we have in difference

Elon Musk promises to "unearth the Black Garden from beneath the sands of Mars", says he will "bring about the end of flesh" and "instantiate the Godmind"

"Democrats need to do more to take credit for their wins" says guy who spent 2022 sending death threats to Will Stancil for saying Biden was helping manufacturing workers.

I thought this was about our orange guy for a second and when I tell you I was ready to fight