This is such an old man flex, the level of uncaring is beautiful. He could have said nothing but he chose "welp", but it might as well have been a hearty "que sera sera".
06.03.2026 19:00
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This is such an old man flex, the level of uncaring is beautiful. He could have said nothing but he chose "welp", but it might as well have been a hearty "que sera sera".
Pacha "just right" meme but a chef.
When my son requests spaghetti for breakfast:
Toxic masculinity hurts men because they can't enjoy a Pink Drink like they should. I stand by this as a good argument against it.
Among other reasons.
This friggin guy who wants a regular coffee in a coffee shop that has moved forward beyond his comprehension.
You know that trope of the middle-aged white guy in a coffee shop who "just wants a regular coffee" and takes out corporate policy on the young woke barista?
I hate it. I never want to be that guy which is why my order is a medium lavender latte with almond milk + two pumps of sugar free vanilla.
Am I late? GO TO BED.
I got this on DVD in 2005 and I remember that my mom saw it on my coffee table and borrowed it. She didn't care for the scene with the peepshow because "nudity".
My mom: I can forgive racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, gore, violence, and swearing BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT A NIPPLE.
I would be stoked if everyone (or anyone) I cooked for had this kind of record-keeping and attention to detail. Instead I get "it's good".
And yes, I have MANY spreadsheets that I use to track MANY things.
Grandpa, who is that on your arm?
That's the Lich that used to date your Grandma, I totally kicked his ass.
Black cat laying on a paper bag
Painstakingly crafted this ultra deluxe bed for my cat. No big deal.
Plus sized man wearing olde tyme cal and round glasses!
I'm olde tyme! Let me offer you a wrapped candy!
Every episode of America's Next Top Model.
Tyra Banks: You are all ugly. Now eat this trough of BBQ meats, sprint for 3 miles up this mountain, drink a large glass of milk, and then do this bikini photoshoot where you're all dressed as cows!
Also Tyra: These photos are terrible!
I was trying to gently remove one of the carpenter bees that occassionally get into my window area by using a clean dishrag and sort of bagging it up so I could let it go outside as I have done many times.
The fucker got me right through the dishrag! Goddamn it. Felt like a hot needle in my finger.
In my head I have a hard time remembering time zones exist. When someone posts a dinner photo about a cozy little stew with biscuits, I look at the clock.
"It's 2pm!" my brain says, "Get the fuck outta here!"
I kind of want to try that eyebrow threading thing that I saw on TikTok but also I have a lot of brow up there and I'm worried they'd tear a chunk of flesh off of me.
Still, to have a clean brow that slays? Could be worth it.
Lord if I lived near a Waffle House I'd be so much happier. Not one within....
I did the math; there's one 13.5 hours away from me. Almost worth it. I used to tour the deep south with a blues band and I ate almost *exclusively* at Waffle Houses.
On one hand, I can see how that would turn one off of McDonalds for a long time.
On the other hand, I'm a mayo slut. It's my deep shame and I'd probably be into it.
I believe you but what do you think about this unsolvable equation- oh no, your head blew up. Totally human reaction.
This comment right here might have put me off it lmao.
Say no to mushburgers.
I honestly want to try it but definitely not based on that video.
Hyperrealistic teeth in cartoon mouth about to bite into a burger.
Y'all seen that McDonald's CEO take a bite of the new burger?
Mt. Olive has to be somewhere racing to the bottom against Vlassic too.
If I ever kept drugs off the street, I promise it was unintentional and because I was doing them myself.
Eww.
The wife and I were thinking about getting gay married just to spice things up.
Jittering burns calories; it's my new workout plan.
I prefer eats during a particular part of the day. I switch from affogato to vodka + Red Bull at 2:00 p.m. like my grandfather did.
An affogato and a vodka + Red Bull have the same energy.
Fun Dieting Tip: the body doesn't actually need food per se; it just needs enough black coffee to propel you forward and occasionally enough cheese cubes to slow you down. 🌠
Seatbelts are lame. Badass dudes die easily preventable deaths.
Do you think Virginia and West Virginia had an agreement about naming like North/South Dakota (or the Carolinas) and then it came time to put their names down in the state registry and West Virginia went first and then Virginia just wrote "Virginia" and was all "LMFAO West Virginia, get bent!"