hungry ghost @COMMISSIONS

the first thing hubby and i see every day when we wake up:

yeah, i used to keep the approximate due dates in mind or in notes before, it just got really messed and piled up in the last 2 months due to all the crazy stressful stuff. plus i kept putting them off due to not having money 🙈 need to just get back into this routine somehow

i am getting em both by email and texts🥲, the blackout/series of cataclysms we had in Jan just really messed up all of that. and tbh im getting so much shit on my phone/email it's lowkey easier to track through paper bills but they don't send those (plus we currently have an issue with our mailbox)

Although if that technician didn’t return the router we would still have to pay for its loss. So we really lucked out. And debt is due to missing a lot of notices bc of the hurricane/blackout + fuck, i really need someone to remind me about all the bills, my stressed exhausted ND brain just cannot😔

phew, it was provider’s fault. they never explained that we need to bring the old wifi router back to them ourselves, their technician took it but didn’t fill the necessary papers. And the old address showed up cause they didn’t change the contract details 🙄 we still have a ~100€ debt for bills tho

summoning circle

🕯
🕯 🕯
🕯 🕯

🕯cool human art gig🕯

🕯 🕯
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🕯

or a generous patron interested in my SciFan setting 🙏

Hey.

Tell people when they do good job.

When you like the stuff they make.

When you like the characters they’ve created.

The stories they’ve told.

Nobody hears it as often as you think bc everyone thinks everyone hears it all the time.

Trust. They don’t.

Tell. Them.

im so over being self-conscious and belittling my skills and experience (thx therapy)
its time for "im so unbelievably fucking cool you're really missing out not working with me" era 😎💅

✨support ghost's personal art✨ Commission available on Ko-fi.com

might as well get pathetic about it, y'know
ko-fi.com/c/e8dc7b9d31

man, i did historical illustrations for hachette (outsourced, and under caretaker's name🤫) when i was _13_. my mom still keeps all the published issues of that book series. it cannot be this hard now when i'm x100000 times more experienced and with a degree and a 40-pages long list of skills. wth

ghost (@hungrygh69st) | Cara - Artist Social & Portfolio Platform Alex Gvozdetskiy (ghost) illustrator/character designer, open for projects hungry.gh69st@gmail.com (they/he)

and jic i somehow actually manifest it - by cool art gig i mean char design/concept art, illustration (book and in general), any kind of smaller scale game art (VN??)
i have ~13 yrs of experience in art/illustration for others and design(mainly industrial area)+teaching degree

cara.app/hungrygh69st

please manifest, im at my limit here
a patron would be nice for a couple months to let me finish my backlog in peace, but then the gig

summoning circle

🕯
🕯 🕯
🕯 🕯

🕯cool human art gig🕯

🕯 🕯
🕯 🕯
🕯

or a generous patron interested in my SciFan setting 🙏

I think making up little guys is good for your mental health, everyone should make up characters and then spend time daydreaming about them

ppl who still commission their favourite artists even in this era where everyone is broke and genAI is being pushed on us at every opportunity—you are appreciated more than words can express!!!

at this point ngl i'd kill for a regular job (except for standing ones cause health/legs issues)but i'm not allowed to in this country :))) even getting a formal gig would make me reapply for another type of residency which at this rate of portuguese bureaucracy will take another 3 yrs if not more🫠

i want to not post personal art because im under a NDA for something very cool and well paid, not because im taking a 41st commission in three month to afford food and fucking taxes in a country that can throw me away any second and refuses to give me citizenship after draining all my resources

man
why can't i, idek, win a small lottery for once or some grant, or find a stable (even just temporary) gig in my field.. or stable residency.. why is it only awful bullshit after awful bullshit with no end. i want to have resources to support myself and others

sorry, im just very tired.

5/5
i genuinely h8 taking so long to finish all the work. because of my hyperresponsibility but also because i didnt stockpile this income - it all went into urgent expenses and im still broke as hell and a ton of expenses are still here and urgent. i just cannot bear adding more work to my queue rn

4/5
i never had more than like..15 comms in my backlog at the same time. but its only bc of urgent expensive move, shitty landlord, wave of cataclysms, broken computer/tablet and emergency mental health aid all happening one after the other over the last 2,5 months. and lack of UBI. and bc genA/I🔪

3/5
SO! if you're waiting for a big comm (anything bigger than lineart) - I beg you to wait just a little bit more even if you commed me back in ~January
I'll rush through that easy part of the backlog real quick (even if its more recent) and will focus on yours right after!
i reeeally need this

2/5
what i think would save me some health and sanity rn is focusing on those small comms first and one at a time so I can cut down this backlog and make it less intimidating so I can then switch to big works at a good pace and not loose quality anywhere
+i still need to keep earning money somehow😣

1/5
you know what. i need to enter an energy-saving mode for a week or two re:comms
bc having 40+ comms(yeah..) in the queue (most are just sketches tho) feels SUPER intimidating, but some of those comms can be done in just a couple hours. i just usually prefer to work on multiple at once

or put my homoerotic masterpieces in a bottle and throw it into the ocean with my card number at the bottom and hope someone will find it and tip me for the effort. or at least to entertain the fish. posting on places with algorithmic feeds already feels like this anyway.

and i was wondering why bsky kept breaking for me every damn evening this past week, lol
ofc its slop degenerates. its always them these days.
at this point i need to just put my shit together and make a website. and you can all praise me and compliment my art through email or physical letters idk

all these specifically financial stresses when i'm broke as fuck and overloaded with INSANE amount of backlog work (bc all the expenses just kept piling up over the last three months) and just unimaginably burned out.. everything else aside - im rapidly loosing my mind from working without breaks

thank god just two therapy sessions already helped me create some safety barriers and coping mechanisms so im way calmer than before about it, but. i am just exhausted of still being reminded about that apt and whole situation. i would love to completely leave it behind but it keeps coming back.

1, 3 are still available 🤍

when will it stop. i can't. i can't anymore. i hope this is an error and/or they can redo the bill to her name because we were told that the contract is terminated and i have that bitch blocked cause she already gave me PTSD. gonna wait until tomorrow to go figure this shit out. im exhausted

i just wrapped up my therapy session about ex-landlord a couple hours ago, finally started getting through it but then our internet provider decided to send me an invoice for that old address for FOUR HUNDRED FUCKING EURO for February when we moved out and terminated our contract in January.
im---