I've never shared my story like this before...
Featuring never before seen photos 😱
youtu.be/jYCxw43nnhQ?...
21.12.2025 02:08
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I've never shared my story like this before...
Featuring never before seen photos 😱
youtu.be/jYCxw43nnhQ?...
What if "laziness" is just a habit of thinking about the cost or effort of things instead of thinking about the payoff or positive outcome?
Double tap ❤️ and tag someone who needs to see this too!
PS: If you're looking to feminise your voice, I am letting 5 people take a sneak peek behind the scenes in one of our FemVoice Skills Workshops. If you want one of the spots, DM or comment "👀" and my bot will send you the details!
Once you make the cost of inaction SUPER clear like this, you can't ignore it.
If you're not going to take action to change your voice, that's fine, but don't gaslight yourself into thinking you're not CHOOSING where that leads to.
In the call, I suggested that people set an "anti-goal".
E.g. "It is now 2045, I am 47 years old, and I have:
- Successfully been "sir'd" in almost every interaction.
- Successfully stayed lonely because I didn't want to use my voice.
- Successfully regret not putting in the work sooner!"
Most people think not taking action is "neutral" because it doesn't take conscious effort to do, but that's not true. It's not neutral.
It has a likely outcome, you're just not CONSCIOUSLY choosing it.
WARNING: This post might hurt...
This came up in our most recent FemVoice Workshop, and it's living rent-free in my mind.
Inaction IS an action.
Oh hey! I'd also like to leave meta in general, though I still feel like I can do more good staying on there (for now).
#Trump redefined #sex - who cares? How do we acquire #gender? Join @jasmine-vine.bsky.social, Dr. Lino Martinez, and me tonight as we deconstruct what it means to be #man or #woman.
10 Feb 2025 @ 5 PM MT
https://dub.sh/deconstructgender
#trans #transgender #lgbtq #GenderIdentity #ScienceOfIdentity
Remember Martin Luther King Jnr’s words, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. Hatred paralyses life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonises it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.”
Bear in mind, these are long-term strategies that take a considerable amount of time and energy, which quite honestly you 'shouldn’t' have to expend. Keep your own mental and emotional energy in mind, uphold physical boundaries, & remember it’s also totally okay to simply not respond.
Notice I said "effective ways", not "easy ways". These ways aren't easy, but when you do these things, it will help to regulate the person, and they’ll start to declassify you as a “threat”. I believe approaching in this way should be used wherever possible.
2 of the most effective ways of counteracting this:
1️⃣ See them for what they are—someone in a stress response who is trying to meet their human needs.
2️⃣ Seek to regulate. This means reflecting feeling and meaning. Get curious, ask questions, and find the actual problem beneath the surface.
7️⃣ Perceived violation of social contracts:
You might hear this referred to as “jealousy”, I believe it’s more like a perceived violation of social contracts. When we feel constrained/stuck within certain expectations (like gender) & we see someone else unstuck, it can feel like disrespect.
6️⃣ Human needs clash:
Certainty, significance, & connection are human needs. Some people get them met by holding strong anti-trans beliefs & values (certainty), feeling “better than” others (significance), and connecting with groups of people who share their views (connection).
5️⃣ Dysregulation clash:
When someone is in a stress response, & your identity caused it, then your identity is going to be viewed as a threat. Something that needs to be fought or run away from. Often people spread hate because their primary stress response is to fight.
4️⃣ Threat to identity:
One of the prime directives of the unconscious mind is the stabolisation of our identity. Trans people existing can threaten a person’s sense of identity, causing uncertainty, which can turn into fear and trigger their fight/flight/freeze stress response.
3️⃣ Perceived values/beliefs conflict:
If someone were to believe “trans people are groomers” & they also have a strong value of family, then that person is likely to feel quite motivated to attack the perceived threat to keep their family safe.
2️⃣ Mis and dis-information:
“Trans people are all groomers!” There’s a lot of harmful rhetoric out there whether it be through plain ignorance, or intentional to further a political agenda. When people are exposed to this with nothing to counteract it, eventually they’ll take on the beliefs.
1️⃣ Purposelessness
We have an epidemic of purposelessness today. People are going through the motions, not knowing what to do with their time. Sometimes people fill that time with hate so they can feel something, or even a dull numbness to help them delay confronting their own reality.
As someone who’s experienced so much hate, I developed somewhat of a special interest in psychology and understanding why our brains do the things they do. The following are some core understandings I’ve come to through my research.
The Top 7 Reasons People Spread Transphobic Hate & 2 of the Most Effective Ways to Counteract It! (A thread 🧵)
From a trans woman who receives several hundred hate comments daily.
I just spent 2 hours writing a thread on here, only to be on the last sentence and accidentally press some key combo that deleted it all. WHYYYY!!!
Gross group of 30 neo-nazi's in my home town. On invasion day, no less. To the people saying "American politics doesn't effect Australians"—bullshit!
Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese condemns 'horrific scenes' of neo-Nazi gathering in Adelaide
No matter how much we're pushed into the shadows, no matter how much our existence is denied or criminalised, we're still going to exist.
We've survived worse.
Stay strong. Stay hopeful. Stay connected.
It's going to be okay. <3
This is further evidence that standing together as a community and looking after our most vulnerable is more important now than ever.
Trans people, intersex people, we always have and always will exist.
Best believe this is simply me honouring my emotions, and allowing myself to process. It's temporary. I'm grieving now, sure, but I'm not going anywhere.
As someone considered a "community leader" in many respects, I try not to share this type of thing because I don't want to add to the hysteria, but I'd be lying if I said much of it wasn't warranted.