Kristen Hanley Cardozo

I’ve been 19 and pregnant but I mostly ate popsicles about it.

Yeah, absolutely. It was wild when I found out that hypermobility is often comorbid with autism.

It's a horrible concept, and at least back when I was doing research (in a purely parental capacity) in like 2004 or 2005, it was still used in France despite having been debunked.

I actually don't know, since I was a kid. But I do remember hearing that he was the best pediatric orthopedist in the area and I have to assume that wasn't true or L.A. was so much more fucked than I ever imagined.

Oh, god, I am so sorry. She was so good and I'm so glad she had you, but that doesn't change the pain of loss. I wish you room for your grief and support and love. ♥️

The doctor who hurt me did the same thing to my stepsister before we'd even met. He had a pattern, but he came highly recommended. I have had some great experiences with doctors but I've also had some really, really bad ones.

Yes. And I had multiple experiences with sadistic or negligent doctors. For real, one of my family's childhood pediatricians (we loved him!) murdered a colleague after he impregnated her in an affair and a dentist we had almost killed a child through bad care. One of my doctors hurt me on purpose.

And then I became a parent really young and had to prove that I deserved to be one and man, that really puts you in opposition to a certain strain of medical professional, although I sometimes got really lucky.

And like, every bit of my bio has clues. But I'm a woman and I did well in school most of the time and I was never identified as needing help, so I just slid under the radar and then there was no help when things got worse.

But like, a therapist I used to see for another reason who does do diagnoses said that she just always assumed I was, plus going through the process with my daughter was where I was like, "OH, this is very much me."

Yeah. I'm pretty certain I'm autistic myself (which really put a new spin for me on "refrigerator mothers") even though I can't get a diagnosis because my insurance doesn't do them for adults.

Is there a particular article or book you'd recommend?

The concept of the Black cyborg / cyborgic comes from Professor Joy James, whose work is required reading during these times.

Claude is not Data or C-3PO committing war crimes in a fictional universe. Claude is an advanced LLM used by evil folks with power to enhance their cyborgic capabilities.

Shout out to Dr. Miles’ work on youth cyborgic literacies in Detroit. I was his dissertation chair & I learned so much from him.

Yep. “Knowing who to be mad at is praxis” is Mariame Kaba’s quote and it is wisdom for these times. (1/2)

I was 20 and unmarried and on public insurance, so I think they felt like it was pretty safe to treat me like a cow.

Thank you! It's so big that I know I'll always fail to mention an important angle and it feels bad.

Anyway, fuck war and fuck the people waging it for no fucking reason since I haven't said that since we started killing more people for the weird egos of some of the meanest most frightened men in the world.

lol I'm trying to step back from saying things publicly unless I've had time to really think on it or it's something sort of inconsequential and I go ahead and make part of a thread about vaccine hesitancy in which the first post notes that it's a bad topic for social media.

This reads like a guest verse that hasn't quite been perfected yet, but it's gonna be fire.

I want to note, after seeing a post that addresses this, that I have not talked about ableism here on the parental side, and that's an important component as well. Medical ableism is real and parental ableism is also very real.

Heh; I had a birth plan for my first that said no episiotomy and the doctor just walked in and did one without even saying a word to me. I screamed "I didn't want that" and she didn't respond.

If you get a chance to see this, I cannot recommend it highly enough. It's poetry about poetry. It's queer and lush and gorgeous.

It's so important and so hard for so many people to get there.

Oof, that's an important aspect that my thread hasn't really addressed.

That is, will shaming and scolding lead to more vaccinations? Would you (not you—hypothetical general you) rather feel good about how much smarter you are than these fools or would you rather see more vaccinated children? A lot of the people I see screaming about this seem to pick the former.

A very hard time in a person's life! And a very short window in which you have to make a lot of choices that will affect another human being forever. Compassion is, I think, the right choice, but even if people disagree, they should consider what outcomes they want and how best to get that.

Now, this is not me defending antivax beliefs. But vaccines are framed as a choice and access is not equal and information is not equally accessible and parents are placed in untenable situations. Some parents plain suck, but a lot of people are doing their best in a badly tilted field. Repost/typo

People love to say "just listen to the doctor!" but we live in a society where not everyone has a doctor or access to a doctor. Even when you do have access, your treatments are limited by your insurance. Not all doctors demonstrate trustworthiness or care.

Oh, I'd love to read about that.