ROOTBEER-POWERED FUCK MACHINE

the article says he's gonna become a professor. but i have an exclusive scoop: he's gonna teach a new subject every 5 seconds

the “no smoking” light in an airplane shines a man anxiously sits with his tired eyes glued to the signal, waiting to light a cigarette. “cmon… turn off…” he thinks

Some anons have a rigid view of what the world should look like, and sometimes that's compatible with everyday pro-social behavior. It's just that in their case, they use it as a catalyst for self-radicalization.

If you're seeing this, you might be searching "Discord" on Bluesky to see if it's not just you!

It's not! Discord is also shitting the bed for all of us!

You think a smurf ever tried to make a house outta the wrong mushroom and went insane?

"We thought the wallet inspector was going to be focused on wallet security and that seems to be the opposite of whats actually happening"

all of this talk about the young male loneliness crisis, but when someone ACTUALLY

>oil futures at $110 before markets even open on Monday

The infamous intro to Bad Dudes, but the speech has been clumsily edited so that it now reads "The president is a bad dude. shit"

Feels like 1930s France

Crate&Barrel’s marketing team really didn’t think this one thru huh

“I did not visit Blockstein Island, no, and while I have had many encounters with those Blockheads before, I can assure yiu it has always been in the ‘Its on sight with you before we throw hands’ context. I hope that helps answer your questions. Yes, you in the back made of clay. Next.”

Screenshot from the Planet of the Bass Tiktok where lyrics on screen say "Women are my favorite guy"

Screenshot from the Planet of the Bass Tiktok where lyrics on screen say "Tell the world 'stop the war'"

This song feels incredibly relevant today.

On the train I heard someone describing this video to his friend out loud and I genuinely almost started crying man

Anyway this comes up so much that I made my first and so far only graphic for it

Shrek has been modded into ‘Resident Evil Requiem’ 🧟‍♂️

Plot in five words or less.

Agoraphobic DJ newscasts surreal apocalypse.

This is like the one thing that metalheads have going for them as a subculture. Basically everyone at a metal show is wearing a band shirt, and about half of them are for the bands on stage.

This is an excellent rule for storytelling but also implies that Philip Pullman witnessed the death of God as a boy.

Charlie Brown may not have had hoes but this creature had many

A picture of Brian and Jack with the text "What my dreams look like 5 minutes before my alarm puts me in fight or flight" And it's just a bunch of shit

that is not what i fucking typed

Oh hey, the dinosaur question made it to air. I always thought Dirge was a triceratops guy.

An homage to a panel from the Achewood web comic. Phillipe, a young and eager otter, who is wearing a shirt and tie and a helmet for some reason, is happily singing a song to himself as follows: Born... in the USA! I went to school and I got an... A! I ate a hamburger and said hooray! Maybe it will happen today! The final line is obviously my addition. The art was redrawn by me and is not just a copy of the original panel. Done in black lines and halftone shading on a toned paper background. You do not need to trouble Chris Onstad about this.

This is like when conservatives respond to Epstein stuff with “oh so it’s illegal to have friends now?”

This is one of the best things I’ve ever seen.