Eric Reif

Sale: baby shoes, never worn

"Come on, Homer, Japan will be fun. You liked Rashomon."
"That's not how I remember it!"

Photo of a sign in Siem Reap, Cambodia, for Mr. Dad Coffee featuring a photo of (presumably) Mr. Dad

Please, Dad Coffee is my son. Call me

If the dreidel lands on M you move all your gelt to the center of the car

sexy teen soap set at starfleet academy? why not! they should make every type of show star trek. moody scandinavian police procedural star trek. half-hour family sitcom starring worf. vulcan columbo

"For more on why name-calling is an ineffective political strategy, we go now to the President of the United States, Donald Trump"

Love to receive my regular update on the State of the Economy

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and let me know if you have any questions! 🤗

Once again begging people to say the second half of the “one bad apple” adage out loud

CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.

ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't

CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.

ISILDUR: true

Old @dril tweet that says “100% body fat, 49 year old, normal Male. good at turning purple while lifting boulders and dropping them in ex-wife's driveway. Army strong”

Catching up on Pete Hegseth’s speech

A little more radiation and the shrimp will actually start frying rice

I just know you could convince RFK Jr that the average human body is riddled with midichlorians

He’s gonna send the National Guard into the museum so they have to let him fuck the flag

"Obama's hip-hop BBQ didn't create jobs" ass headline

How are the rich gonna ride the buses if they’re all fleeing the city the second Zohran is elected?

Building a time machine to go back ten years and show this to myself at the DNC

Aerial view of the White House with multiple red map pointer icons above it.

my "bawdy letter to jeffrey epstein" has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my letter

Labor Loves Cool James

Weather app screenshot for Washington, DC showing a temperature of 98, feels like 108, and thunderstorming

Pain

I don't even live in New York but Zohran just reached up, grabbed my nose right off my face (antisemitic??), and held it in front of me between the fingers of his clenched fist and said "got your nose!" Fortunately he gave it back

The name’s Al-Gaib, Lisan al-Gaib

Amazon Prime Video’s “popular now” recommending Stargate and Stargate SG-1

We’re so back