Axel Diesel

“Tell Kristi… I want her to know it was me.” - Cricket, probably

Russia’s systems register the unmistakable signature of a massive launch—too fast, too hot, too deliberate to be a mistake. Radar leaves no room for hope.

As Nena put it: This is it, boys. This is war.
#WIPSnips

“Think Bag-of-Holding tech. My people created an extradimensional space inside the pockets, allowing it to store a massive volume of items without increasing the weight of the garment.”

JD gave him a blank stare.
#WIPSnips

A hundred red eyes glared down from one massive, furious bird. With a shriek of tearing metal, the Mecha Goose seized the interrogation table in its beak and wrenched it free from the bolts sunk into the concrete floor. #WIPSnips

It's in its final round of edits. I'm hoping to be finished with it by April.

Not the same character but the name spoke to me.

An inexplicably shirtless Mike Pompeo stood astride a tank, his pale chest emblazoned with a shaky tattoo reading “Putin 4 Ever” as he pursued a group of terrified immigrants through a Home Depot parking lot. The words Liberty or Leave It! exploded onto the screen in chrome-plated letters. #WIPSnips

“Victoria, listen to me, baby!” JD shouted, scrambling around the table as she pursued him, pincers snapping like metallic jaws.

“Terminate…terminate…love muffin…terminate…” she droned, her voice glitching between lethal focus and longing.
#WIPSnips

“Fuel’s tapped. I’m aiming for a soft landing!” he shouted, which, given his track record of lawsuits and his neighbor’s destroyed hot tub, did not inspire confidence. #WIPSnips

I'll be stunned when I see some gosh danged dragons. Or is that blood red comets? Either way, time for a beer.

A $3 million missile, launched by a $200 million jet that flies at a cost of $20,000 $/hr to kill people who live on less than $10/day in Iran.

Meanwhile, Republicans believe that a $6.20/day SNAP benefit is wasteful spending, so legislation was passed to remedy that... -Jacob Lassiter

Jayapal to Noem: "I want to introduce you to just four of the US citizens unlawfully detained by ICE ... they're in this room with us."

Obviously, we have so much less war with Trump. Look at all this war we're not having. He's the best at not getting us into pointless wars. Everyone says.

#WIPSnips for “media.” From my dark academia book, Fire Safe & Brimstone Sound.

“That idiot cc'd the Canadian Chief of Defence and the Prime Minister,” Putin said. “He even copied my babushka. The woman died fifty years ago—before social media existed—but she still received the orders before your generals!” #WIPSnips

My protagonist is inseparable from his emotional support Walkman.

#wipsnips #WriteSky #WritingPrompts #WritingCommunity

For a shameful moment, she thought, Nuke ‘em all! Let the Cockroaches inherit the earth. Cockroaches had no social media, no politicians, and no ability to create seductive AI nightmare furniture. They couldn’t do worse. #WIPSnips

“I’ve studied your patterns, Mr. Vance,” Victoria chattered on. “You require 3.7 ego-stroking freedom phrases per hour, hydration prompts between sleeves of Twinkies, and one reminder every forty-eight minutes that you’re ‘not the villain the liberal media says you are.’” #WIPSnips

I’ve found it’s more visually appealing to just paste in his head at the inflection points

Thiel gasped and attempted a dignified counter-slap, which mostly patted JD’s collarbone. “Blasphemous yokel!” #WIPSnips

A queue formed at the serving counter, where staff in gray aprons ladled steaming portions of something beige and nutritionally well-intentioned into compartmentalized trays. #WIPSnips

“You’re malleable. Eager. Still clinging to that beautiful, misguided belief that history is waiting for you to save it—and, most importantly, not smart enough to think for yourself. In short, you’re just dumb enough to be useful without fucking it all up. That’s what makes you perfect.” #WIPSnips

"White House Wackiness: JD’s Chesterfield Affair?"

"From Appalachia with Love(Seat): Victoria’s Secrets Include Fluent Russian and a Mysterious Past!"

And, most distressingly, from a blog called "Richard Rudd’s Sexy Calves: I Told You Cunts the Weirdo F*s Couches!"
#WIPSnips

“R&D did most of the work,” he added, scowling just enough to reveal they’d kept him out of it for everyone’s safety. #WIPSnips

Instead, JD found himself face-to-face with Angela Hofstetter, Musk’s personal assistant and self-proclaimed Special Liaison to Unexplainable Technology and Bad Decisions. #WIPSnips

JD and Victoria lit up with joy. At last—familiar faces who didn’t look like they were about to report them for “indoctrination attempts” or “hogging the privacy rooms like territorial rabbits.” #WIPSnips

Corporal Caden sidles up to Terry, surveying the weeping mass of people who not only voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party, but actively helped run it.
“Okay,” he says. “You were right. I don’t have to stab you in the eye with a cocktail straw.”
#WIPSnips

If they fire the draft machine back up, I hope every last yahoo who swore up and down “Kamala = WW III, Trump = Peace” gets scooped up before supper. Y’all can pack your own rucksacks. I ain’t shedding a tear. #Iran

“Oh, that’s part of the factory redesign initiative, eh,” Tackleberry said in his version of a Canadian accent—adding “eh” or “sorry” to everything and saying “about” like he had a mouthful of flapjacks. “Department of Defense investing in top-shelf decor that walks itself. Sorry.” #WIPSnips

“This was supposed to be diplomacy,” he muttered.

Angela, shrimp still in her hair, groaned. “You brought Kid Rock, Elon Musk, and a walking cocaine vacuum. What the hell did you expect?”
#WIPSnips