I hate the letter Q
"OHhh loOk aT me iM so QuiRky"
You're an O with a dick. Grow up already.
13.12.2024 14:45
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I hate the letter Q
"OHhh loOk aT me iM so QuiRky"
You're an O with a dick. Grow up already.
Toasted sourdough is a scam invented by dentists to sell more teeth
Girlfriend: If you get through this one game of Battleships with me without making any weird Star Wars references I won't break up with you.
Me: Easy. You first.
Girlfriend: C3...
Me: FUCK
Any of my old mutuals on here (or from the old shadowy place™️) have a fledgling YouTube channel or podcast?
Interested in going into scripting online content and curious whether anybody out there has any experience etc. 👀
Toasted sourdough is a scam invented by dentists to sell more teeth
Wait i hadn't finished my old year yet can I get a doggy bag?
If you start singing 19,017 green bottles sitting on the wall at 10:17pm tonight your mental breakdown will start as the clock hits midnight 🥰
I'm wearing pyjamas under my work clothes today and honestly 10/10 don't think I'll ever go back from this
wish my body came with a kickstand bc sometimes i just need to rest where i stand.
Interviewer: Can you explain this space on your resume?
Neil Armstrong: ...Yes.
Interviewer: Can you explain this space on your resume?
Neil Armstrong: ...Yes.
Leaving my drafts folder to go down with the other place
I expect my Nobel peace prize in the post
I have a super hot, kind, smart, incredible girlfriend
so GOD DAMMIT WILL SOMEBODY ARRANGE A CLASS REUNION ALREADY I HAVE SO MUCH FLEXING TO DO
I hate the letter Q
"OHhh loOk aT me iM so QuiRky"
You're an O with a dick. Grow up already.
Got fired as an awthor
not a clew why
I never thought spirit animals were a thing until I met ✨️him✨️
A toy goose sits on a sofa with his adorable head hung low. It's in black and white because I'm artsy.
Me when my girlfriend is busy having a life
Magician: Pick a card, any card
Me: (visibly panicking) PIKACHU
I'm hosting a me look alike contest
It's at my workplace
Just turn up, they'll show you where your desk is
Accidentally revealed i still have an msn email address to a bunch of teens today
Pray for me
How your email finds me
Stay safe when drinking, always remember STAR:
S - Start drinking
T - Tasty drinky
A - Am drubk now
R - Rhow doacronymys works I'm drùnck
Stay safe when drinking, always remember STAR:
S - Start drinking
T - Tasty drinky
A - Am drubk now
R - Rhow doacronymys works I'm drùnck
Remember that one time when we all got into sea shanties?
We ride at dawn
Well
We walk behind pushing at dawn. But close enough.
[being chased by killer]
ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*
Absolutely spot on 100% hard agree
YES BUT ALSO MORE IMPORTANTLY HOW'S THE FERNLETTE?!
Got drunk and now i only speak in rhyme I will not be taking any questions at this time
OH I didn't know my therapist was going to see this uh oh