Emil Ottoman

Yup, way more than expected. @charleneelsby.bsky.social, thank you. Also, so many candy canes!!!

Nothing that could kill me popped out, so I can safely say any day you get a happy little box from @charleneelsby.bsky.social is a good day. Expect trinkets in return, I am a corvid and I have a literal trinket gift box under my bed...

Also, I mean I commit to a bit okay.

Sorry, long week

I NEVER GOT MY FUCKING CARD DT! I NEVER. GOT. MY. CARD. I've seen footage. I used to skip trace people for drug debts who didn't have names aside from shit like "Briar" and I FOUND THEM. Don't taunt me, I'm broke and psychotic. (I love you, I swear.)

between here, some of threads, and Substack Notes... I'm... spending way too much time reading, manic posting, and just generally being on social media, but it feels less toxic, so I don't trust it, naturally. When do the shitbirds show up?

Just buy the book and love yourself.

And it was a pretty... fire.... read. I'll go hang myself like my best friend over that one. She chose the right time to check out last year, shit's gonna get weird.

No, I don't, that's been the problem with my entire fucking life!

the cover of not like us, big house with a bunch of sex offender alert icons

2025 white house cabinet meeting

venmo ya five bucks for a video... (Kidding, I'm so fucking broke.)

I don't have kids, I have Mexican Xanax. They're about as expensive but one keeps me from committing violence.

I'd been working for YEARS to attain the level of fake delusional micro indie lit reply guy author who never pubs clout I had on Twitter and I will not rest until I have back all my best quality followers.

One thing I remember about DIY bands touring is that they would always completely go off even if they were just playing for the people who lived in the house. It is too bad more writers don't see that as a viable way of being.

An app meant to help me sleep told me, “Thoughts are just one of the ways the body responds to stress,” and now I have to rethink my life.

You terrify and arouse me in new and strange ways...

A the brink of indie publishing entering it's theater of the absolutely absurd era and fam I am here for it.

This is what I'm here for. Fuck an advance. Ellis has 3 that haven't even earned out yet. And he wrote American fuckin' Psycho. But this, you can't pay for this shit.

Ah, the metatextual demon has arrived. Please can we all just fucking LEAVE Twitter?

anyone else over on Substack notes noticing how WILD that place is. Holy shit, culture shock is not the word. Their platform native authors are a TRIP sometimes.

OK, @incastellated.bsky.social followed me and I'm about to preorder Massive from Asterism, all is... within reasonable bounds within the world for the moment.

Tell me you're a philosopher without telling me you're a philosopher...

Found the bridge app to find people you follow that follow you on Bluesky as a Chrome extension, BOOM ratiod the fuck outta myself.

Anyway, heres me laughing at people who don't think I'll throw hands just because I'm a writer and a lefty. I'm also, you know, a federally convicted felon kids.

And then this right-wing to hate monger that is trying to trip me up semantically or verbally or some other way is completely confused. There is someone on the other side that would gladly just feel like yeah no if neurosurgeons play God and any neurosurgeon worth their salt does. I can too.

Every time someone who is very far to the right leaning, nationalist, maybe someone that you could call fash, or just you know an authoritarian bootlicker, but every time they try and catch me in some sort of like logic trap like what would you do if? I'm okay with playing God. I'd kill them.

And I mean I've been on sub stack notes this morning like trying to figure out where all the f****** Nazis come from. All of a sudden asking stupid questions.

So this is like Twitter used to be except with less people. Okay like can we just get the rest the indie lit community over here. At first glance it seems nice.

So some of us are here, but it's all wonky. Ok.

So are we all over here now, what's up?