Iguana Prima Donna

u tellin me Monster was the monster's name?

[draws a gun on god] what do you mean i have to shit to survive

the world was better when dudes were a majority

being informed by friends and family that my kilroy comic is not funny

IN THIS ECONOMY? actually wait yeah ok

in fact, i don't know her at all. i never mentioned her, nor conceived of her in any way. my perfect a.i. gf is a un-created thing. but she's also very real and loves me.

no. you can't meet my a.i. girlfriend. she goes to a different school. in canada. her parents won't let her use the internet or answer the phone. she can't be seen with human eyes and is always temporally and spacially offset from our present reality.

what do you think the rest of kilroy looked like

what if ratatouille were a evil fucked up rat putting toilet in soup

get u a girl who farts back

evil word wizard

jim carrey has really seemed to be at peace with himself since he was murdered and replaced with a clone

clone jim carrey seems to be, on the whole, a nicer, gentler jim. hate to see his efforts overshadowed by the anti-clone crowd.

i saw the leonardo da vinci ceiling when i was little but i had already been to vegas so that sort of spectacle was already kinda ho-hum at that point.

suing the shit out of the artist after driving my car into it thinking it was a portal to Cool World

that's how you grip a dang shootin iron

please be safe

has anyone ever even met a zoomer? are we sure they're not a cryptozoologist conspiracy

I really think Buddhism is the kindest way of saying like bro you're so dumb just don't listen to any of your thoughts and go live your life.

there's too much evidence of sex on this planet (people)

insect jobs: shit burglar, poop carpenter, dung examiner, fecal finder
human jobs: slave, abuser, murderer

kafka really believes gregor samsa made a bad trade?

may i see all their wieners first

karate chopping my girlfriend for threatening to end my mitriosis

it was a scribal error

The Girl with the Hot Stuff Tattoo

no brother, i am neither teeing nor heeing

goin to krondor for some betrayal, y'all want something?

you couldn't even take a shit if someone walked up and gave it to you

wait so these kardashian women y'all go on about are real they aren't a star trek species

who up gettin betrayed at krondor