sharpest of cheeses

Oh my GOD it was awful! The term “failure to thrive” shouldn’t exist! It made me feel like SHIT!

A not-3 percent on the weight chart baby looks DIFFERENT than mine!

Honestly same. Pens lost so much weight and made it back up so slowly and then, overall, gained so slowly that she was swamped in her 6-9m dress when she had her first birthday.

I was EFFERVESCENT when she was able to fit in it! Thank you again for your lovely gift and the lovely memory it gave me when I received it.

Did I tell you that the first time I put it up next to her to see if it would fit I nearly woke Pens up I was wheeze laughing so hard?

Pens: I’m still scared of my camera! *theatrical arm wave* I might even cry!

PERFECTION. PERFECTION IN DOG FORM. 10/10, NO NOTES.

I don’t know who needs to hear Jesse Jackson leading the kids on Sesame Street in this beautiful call-and-response reminding them that every child is somebody, but here it is

Thank you

It sucks SO MUCH

Thank you, me too.

Thank you, we’re just not okay as a family right now

not to get triggery on the tl but Justin is Not Well and I’m at a loss on how to support him

we’re scared. good thoughts appreciated

Pens, to our Alexa: What’s your favorite thing about dogs?

Alexa: Where do I start…[begins prattling because this update is chatty af]

Pens, to our Alexa: You start at the legs!

A cute thing Pens did the other day, because I’m feeling hella overwhelmed:

I don’t know. I just don’t know if, after eight years, we’ll have to move.

We brought Pens home from the hospital to this house. This is where we grieved Xander. This is where we welcomed Ruby. I don’t know how we goodbye if we have to say goodbye.

We’re cleaning like the dickens to show that we’re good tenants but I don’t know if that’ll make any difference to them. Our former landlord gave us a discount since we did our own repairs for the most part, since we have a kiddo with special needs and they had a heart for how expensive that is.

In other news, our duplex got bought and we don’t know if we have to move. We aren’t under contract. From what we understand, the buyer is a flipper. We could lose our home if we get priced out or they ask us to leave.

I also wanted to thank everyone for their kindness during the first dark and terrible months where all I felt, all the time, was grief and guilt for opening the door. Thank you.

Today is the one year anniversary of when Xander got out to go pass; I’ve been quietly weeping for the last hour. It has never gotten easier, missing him. There’s a part of me that hopes it heals and a part of me that hopes it never, ever does.

I am the most goose who ever was, and I am enough goose for the whole town, because I am a little white heartbeat that moves very fast, more fast than anything else, for surprises.

God really made sea lions like “what if a wet banana could scream”

It is okay to smell like wet dog if you have been making friends with a wet dog.

She’s been a rogue since the beginning

Pens: What’s your phone number? Now I have to take a picture.

Justin: Scammer!!

Pens: What’s your address?

Me: *gives address*

Pens:…You got any passwords?

Me: Are you trying to steal my identity?!