Tiffany

Growth and healing are both strange and beautiful.

I'm having the hardest time accepting that things are fine, I'm doing okay, I'm fine, and that there's nothing wrong with me.

I'm really only just fully realizing it and accepting it so I've been driving myself batshit trying to find something wrong when there's nothing to find.

Gotta give them Pluto pants.

Easy times make weak men.

Strong men respect all who follow their own path, is that not the truest measure of a man?

"Out of sight, out of mind" mfs when they go blind and lose their mind

I found we lost Angelfire trying to go see my old-old site.

I remember fondly hosting a multi-instance unlocked client for the ancient Tibia MMO that I had hacked with just an assembler and a hex editor.

I wonder who fondly remembers finding the Tibia multiclient I maintained.

What they got right is beliefs bear no need for respect on their own.

Fuck winter depression got hands

Calvinball is ascension, redefine why you're playing in the first place

Like dancing among the clouds,
as a teardrop of light gives birth
I breathe in the rain

Lights in the distance of the night,
shadows graced to life by the sun
contrast draws its own lines upon my soul

The mystery to not be solved,
the journey that begins another

I delight in the sublime arrogance of creativity, to wonder now if it should or could be but to simply dream and act to make it so, few other so-true expressions of your soul.

I'm shouting to you across the hall, why don't you come over?

Is it because I'm standing in the doorway? I want to walk out of this building with you altogether, why don't you feel what's inside is just an idle distraction?

Do I not see the beauty of my own walls?

I have so much load-bearing anxiety that it was freaky to let it all go, I recommend it.

I haven't had any luck with SSRIs or wellbutrin, just the first straight up anxiety med that isn't a benzo and it seems to do what it says on the tin.

I bind myself with no rules when I yearn for more, such is creativity as much as it is arrogance.

I'm gonna have my first normal hormone doc visit in a while. I'll probably have a more level mood being back on prog.

Ah! The joys of a tax refund, buying glasses and medication while paying doctors.

I am soonish to be bespectabled!

I didn't even know prismatic scripts were a thing. I'd love to read things without getting double-vision LOL

I think my FOMO just died. Like, WOAH

Yeah so buspar is working haha.

You are now moving your face to express your emotions manually.

screenshot of the titular pixies from the Fairly OddParents episode Pixies, Inc.

me: idk which specific pixie lore im kin with but the reason i specify pixie and not faerie is cuz i have a major disconnect with the whole "oneness with nature" thing like i love and respect nature but im more into technology personally and--

bratty Dom: i know which pixie lore you're kin with

I am so fucking emotionally fragile that I've been unable to remove my unemployment problem for so long.

Like I am rock freakin' steady until just the right wrong thing and BLAM.

I sometimes get cross-eyed while reading due to my lazy eye so I went and got a prismatic script and after finding out I'd almost assuredly have to pay my optometrist to make the lenses I'm reminded that I could use glasses but I really don't need them.

Trying that was clever tho!

I just kinda accepted the pain haha, it was worth the result.

A woman drinking milk from a gold rimmed and decorated tumbler.

My fave trope that makes no sense is depicting a psychopath drinking milk.

My kitty is like sand on the beach.

I can only hold her for so long before she slips between my fingers but it is always a beautiful moment.

Lately I feel like I've been coming out of a fog.

I don't even have to vaguepost about it, buspar has been giving me silence from my intrusive thoughts. Pure-O is messed up and likes making paranoia inside of an otherwise placid sea of abstracted connection.

I really need to do that retox, anybody wanna hit up a Waffle House?

Gosh, I'm finally home after almost 5hrs. All that for an interview at a makeup place haha.

I've been enjoying getting out, far away even, and all of the time on the bus to just kinda clear my mind to make no judgements or decisions. I've been so isolated that it's kinda lovely.

A highway viewed through a chain link fence on it's overpass, the thin dirt median centered in the diamond of one piece of the fence.

A pedestrian walkway on a highway overpass with heavy fencing protecting the ledge. It is at once clean yet unmaintained with some snow but no litter nor sidewalk cracking.

A woman gently smiling with a bit of hair popping out of one wide of her pink winter hat.

A woman thoroughly but fashionably dressed for the winter with a black puffy jack over a shawl peeking out from beneath, a long winter pencil skirt, and sky blue tights.

America has this rushed liminality that you find in it's purest essence walking between roadways and malls.

Nobody exists here even if they're not truly forced out yet you're surrounded by people, busyness, and public works.

A woman's crossed legs viewed from above with a winter pencil skirt of jaunty cool colored patterns, bright sky blue tights, and high heel combat boots.

I found myself by walking, I've only lost myself when I've relented to my bed.

I call many Home and find myself in their lives as I Walk.

I find myself between, walking between ways and lives as if the boundaries are not there.

Yet the walls of my Home are within my heart.