Too many men don't realize what they have. Too many women don't realize what they're worth.
03.04.2025 13:08
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Too many men don't realize what they have. Too many women don't realize what they're worth.
It’s such a gift to be able to spoil people you love
i would never challenge death to a pillow fight bc i’m not prepared for the reaper cushions.
gas pump: please see cashier
me: i will (clenches fist) IN HELL
Yes I had a poly phase, but juggling separate social media accounts is proving to me that time may be over
i will forever be the girl who loves sunsets and the ocean and books and the word “fuck”.
Rockets are like boobs & sunsets: You always want to stop & marvel at them
Regular octagonal red/white Stop sign barely visible though the green leaves of a big bush
When you wanna warn a friend about their behaviour, but you're also really keen to know what happens next
Set phasers to snugglebunny
Happy Unexpected Car Repair or Broken Appliance Just Before the Holidays Day!!!
For many of my author friends. The typo makes it even funnier.
we should get longer weekends when the days are shorter
you live on the fringe but i live on the cringe baby
"Dance like nobody's watching!"
Santa [steepling fingers, licking lips]: Yesss… You do that
The guy who named peacocks was not allowed to name anything else
I wonder what it feels like to not have the underlying urge to blow up my perfectly great life periodically
secret santa at the cia prolly goes hard as hell
Cum she said to me
Pa rapa rub bum
sorry, can’t. busy putting stickers on the back of my Subaru
Amazon: Reason for returning item(s)?
Me: I was drunk.
I just saw Santa’s naught list and it looks a lot like my friends list 🤣
Try to keep a refined sense of indifference.
I’m connecting with new coworkers for the first time on Facebook & feel apologetic about the short dresses since I have a serious job. No one tell them about this place once I get it going like Twitter. More face in the avi now
Every first cold snap of the winter in Florida leaves me feeling lost & confused, like I’ve never before had to wear these things called “sweaters” or “pants”
My astigmatism makes the holidays that much more magical.
It definitely causes problems & there aren’t that many (affordable) next gen antibiotics available. We have one patient with a UTI who is resistant to 24 of 28 drugs & is on 45 days of one that costs $1265/day. Not including his hospital stay. We don’t want to see more of that