Ever notice how “K-Holes” can make someone pale, sweaty, nauseous, & might also cause vomiting?
They may be experiencing “acute hypoglycemia” - a temporary low blood-sugar attack.
For info on why this happens and what to do for someone in K-Holes:
www.partysafemedics.nyc/post/how-ket...
At the end of the day, I know electoral politics won't be the thing that saves us, but I'd be lying if I said Mamdani didn't give me hope it could do something for us
She's been seen as the far left of the democratic party for so long that I fear she'll benefit from and be able to capture a portion of the base that Zohran has excited/mobilized while not being a true threat to the goals of imperialism thus neutering any actual socialist candidates chances
Yall AOC's insistence on standing with Israel and the establishment Dem's seeing Mamdani victory over Cuomo has me thinking not only is she going to run for president in 2028, but she's going to be the establishment's response to candidates like Mandani
Aesthetics are political when aesthetics aren't our only politics, and sometimes it's okay to just eat a burger off the grill with your friends
At the end of the day, my thoughts come down to if you want to drink, dance, eat grill cooked food, and watch shit blow up, then do it. The shift in the aesthetic tone behind why is not empty - at the same time, it also isn't The Revolution™️.
Ultimately, aesthetic actually is political - just surface deep. If the only way you engage with political action is aesthetic, you need to check yourself. If you are actively politically in ways that engage with the material conditions we're in, aesthetic can be an important component
Tbh Fuck the 4th celebrations feel like a way to enjoy eating things off a grill, drinking, dancing, and watching shit blow up while justifying it as political through a rebrand and shift of aesthetic. At first, I was tempted to just simply shit on that as empty and take the side of being a hater
Now that it's been a few days since the 4th, my thoughts on the Fuck The 4th concept (not specifically any one party, there was a few, i mean it as a concept) have gotten a chance to marinate and develop quite a bit
So much has changed for trans people over the last 15 years a lot of good and bad. Being one of the older trans people to come out of the wave of trans awareness in the 2010s but also not being that much older than the majority of that wave often feels like such a confusing and isolating place to be
I know at 29 I'm still incredibly young, but age intersecting with my transness is bringing a lot of complex feelings where I often feel so fucking old. I was born on the other side of the tipping point. Back in my day, most of us didn't find out being non-binary existed till we were in college
I love that I can be an elder to young queers and I love that I can be there to guide and support people, but where are those people for me? Honestly, it's not just a lack of elders I'm feeling but also a lack of people my own age I can relate to on this experience as well
In a lot of the spaces I'm in, I've noticed more and more that a lot of these young adults lack people looking out for them and caring about their safety, and being one of the older people in those spaces I feel more and more like that responsibility is falling on me
Being 29, I can really feel the weight of our lack of queer elders. There are elders in the community, but the scarcity turns them more into celebrities than role models that young people just coming into adulthood can access when looking for guidance and support
It being a pattern is not lost on me. Clearly, at least some if not most of being trapped in that cycle is me. I also know so many best friends or romantic whateverships going no contact with me is a red flag and I do want to be open to the possibility that I may not be innocent
Part of it is due to keeping people at a distance. Over the last 5 years, every single person I thought I was closest to eventually took advantage of me, stole from me, used me, wasn't there for me in my need, and go no contact. It's dehumanizing, and I dont think I can go through it again
The meme spectrum of Steven Universe to Ketamine shaped like a horseshoe
This past year has made me a Horseshoe Theory believer 😭😭😭 #stevenuniverse #ketamine #trans
Tonight I got the honor to give or prep estrogen shots for an egg, it, they, she, and system (hehe I'm the system). Covering the whole spectrum of estrogen users tn 🤩
The way I'm about to hit this biblically accurate candyflip 😜
(Yes, I do know what BPD is. I'm sure all the other BPD girlies out there can relate fiercely to all or some of what I said here)
I don't know if I'm ready to face the part of me even I abandoned. I don't how how to reconcile that. I think the fear of abandonment comes from the fact even I have abandoned me. I was a child, I did what I needed to to survive, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen
Letting people love me directly and confidently means I truly have to confront the pain and sadness I have over the lack of emotional safety and security granted to me in childhood. It means facing a part of me I dissociated away nearly 3 decades ago for my own safety, and that's terrifying
And, getting close to someone for me means doing all this while also feeling deep down in my gut that they too will abandon me (and believing this often makes it self-fulfilling) and so I need to get every moment I can with them before they disappear forever
Because of all this, I've always pursued and recreated dynamics where I am investing an incredible amount of energy into my relationships, an amount that would be unreasonable to ask in return, with the hope of relieving a nugget of care without feeling like I deserve or can ask for it outright
I also never felt like there was effort put in for me to be understood or heard. I learned to be heard, I had to create just the right conditions, say just the right words in just the right way, and get just the right amount of luck. Being understood never felt like something I could expect
Having grown up in an environment where the state of an emotionally volatile adult was more significant to my emotional state and wellbeing than how I was doing, I learned to regulate and care for others at the expense of myself.
People who have a healthy, direct, and clear desire to be close with me and care about me feel so weird to me - it feels like a trick or a scam. I feel safest with people who are clearly not in a place in their life to give me the care I crave
Getting close to someone for me is exhausting. I default to minimizing myself and putting ever bit of spare energy into thinking about or actively engaging with that relationship to an extent that's deeply unhealthy for everyone involved
I'm realizing that as much as I'm a lover girl and romantic, believe fiercely in community and am a very active member in mine, and super about queer chosen family, I am in fact deeply terrified of vulnerability and have absolutely no clue how to ask for or even recieve support
Ketamine genuinely can be medicinal. It genuinely can challenge us and push us to be better people. But there's no such thing as easy growth - to think all we need to do to heal, be happier, and living a more fulfilling life is a line of K every day is delusional
