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Robert Brockway

@brockway

Screenwriter, novelist, podcaster, comedian. Putting the 900 in 1900HOTDOG. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend linktr.ee/brockwar

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15.05.2023
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Latest posts by Robert Brockway @brockway

Same, but I tried to engage with it in the most honest way I could and I guess it resonated. Maybe they're some kind of people too? I have no way of proving this.

06.03.2026 17:07 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
Order Brockway's New Book! | Linktree I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200 -- A new comedic horror assault by Robert Brockway. Now in exciting book form. Order below!

Yeah, I didn't know it was a thing either.

Buy the book so I don't have to understand social media: linktr.ee/killyourimag...

06.03.2026 16:40 ๐Ÿ‘ 7 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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This is the influencer letter I wrote as part of the marketing campaign for I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200. My editor called it "insulting in a captivating way."

06.03.2026 16:39 ๐Ÿ‘ 21 ๐Ÿ” 5 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Screenwriting Pro-Tip: To keep morale up, never sort your producer contact sheet by status of last reply.

05.03.2026 21:17 ๐Ÿ‘ 20 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Yes but unfortunately nothing in the modern world is built to allow that.

05.03.2026 21:02 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
My Patreon Resume

Patreon's CMS is so bad and consistently broken our tech guy @katzatstudios.com spent some of the limited time he has on Earth coding this just to mock them. katzatstudios.com/PatreonResume/

05.03.2026 17:57 ๐Ÿ‘ 21 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1

I don't question a single word of this.

05.03.2026 16:50 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Or whatever it is you guys have instead of stores. Some kind of wagon? Possibly a monger. Go see your bookmonger, catch him and make your wish. He might have the book now!

05.03.2026 16:14 ๐Ÿ‘ 21 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Overseas folks who are desperate to kill some imaginary friends, who can feel that glittery blood on their teeth already but have no instruction manual: Good news! It looks like new copies of I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200 are slipping through the blockade! Check your local book goblin.

05.03.2026 16:13 ๐Ÿ‘ 34 ๐Ÿ” 4 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I'm disallowing it again now that I know they were ethically sourced.

05.03.2026 16:09 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

A euro gun nut! Those are extra points.

05.03.2026 15:48 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Don't dream of me. You can dream of anything. Aim higher.

05.03.2026 15:47 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I'll allow this as long as those are human teeth I see.

05.03.2026 15:47 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

You would have to smuggle photos out of the Evans compound like it was a North Korean theme park.

05.03.2026 15:46 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Even without the crime, this is simply one of my favorite puppet fights ever. (It is not a crime to fight puppets.)

05.03.2026 15:46 ๐Ÿ‘ 32 ๐Ÿ” 4 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

This is true, at one point in I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200 the main character daydreams about being able to invest in a gun to improve his productivity.

04.03.2026 18:33 ๐Ÿ‘ 13 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Like the compound allows photos.

04.03.2026 17:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Welp, this isn't the first time I've lost my life savings, but it is the fastest.

04.03.2026 17:50 ๐Ÿ‘ 40 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 6 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Be fair and include context, please. You make it sound like I'm using zoomer slang to describe retro fashion.

It's worse than that. I was referring to the actual 1970s.

04.03.2026 17:37 ๐Ÿ‘ 10 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Oh, I am.

04.03.2026 17:36 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The stupidest people in the world are surveilling our social media. If you do this, it will definitely put me on a list and probably get me killed.

I'm in.

04.03.2026 17:36 ๐Ÿ‘ 27 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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Just got this. No deal. I appreciate the hustle but the bet was for multiple firearms.

Side note: This is starting to worry me.

04.03.2026 16:53 ๐Ÿ‘ 50 ๐Ÿ” 4 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 5 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1
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Reader sent me this. Gonna go sink my life savings into a Polymarket bet that this is the only time anyone will ever pose my book with multiple firearms.

04.03.2026 16:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 68 ๐Ÿ” 3 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 5 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The audiobook is so fucking good.

04.03.2026 16:27 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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It's been out for one month and I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200 has 500+ ratings and 140 reviews on Goodreads. Still sitting at about 4 1/2 stars*. Incredible.

*You will allow me the dignity of rounding up.

04.03.2026 16:20 ๐Ÿ‘ 44 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 2
Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 267, Six Million Dollar Man vs. Bigfoot with Alex Schmidt
Dogg Zzone 9000 - Episode 267, Six Million Dollar Man vs. Bigfoot with Alex Schmidt YouTube video by 1-900-HOTDOG

You can also find a ragtag team of humans, machines, and cryptids on our YouTube channel! They're always there, but this week so are @seanbaby.bsky.social , @brockway.bsky.social, and @alexschmidty.bsky.social. youtu.be/zjDIfiYXM-8

04.03.2026 14:55 ๐Ÿ‘ 27 ๐Ÿ” 9 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1

Dirk doesn't explicitly say it on the podcast, but I won this one.

03.03.2026 18:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 36 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 2 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It was better that way.

03.03.2026 16:53 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Riptide was truly maximalist with the identifiable vehicle mascots.

03.03.2026 16:12 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

They were his best friends in the world, next to a boat, a helicopter, a robot and several novelty cars.

03.03.2026 16:11 ๐Ÿ‘ 5 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0