Average American

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Person sitting with a banner that reads YOU ARE ALL COWARDS

This guy is just posted up outside of Congress and I’m honestly not sure what his political views are but I agree

I don’t know what you mean if I’m being honest

What do you do if you like your dog a lot more than he likes you

I had to add more words to this joke to make it clear this wasn’t a weird demand for pictures of op but I don’t think it was worth it because it’s a bad joke either way

It’s sad

Pics of the words floating out of your mouth in a word bubble or didn’t happen

Hello San Diego Studios, I’d like to report a bug with your game MLB the Show. Specifically, baseball is very boring yet your game is fun. Please advise.

After they tell you that they are proud of you for getting over your issues of emotional attachments to strangers

The television show?

get his ass

Siri, how do I trick a robut into becoming my personal internet bodyguard

We lost our way

Big yawn and big stretch are beginner level things to yell at your dog. Talk to me when you point at a dog laying down and explain they are a “sleepy dog” to anyone listening. Then I know you are an intermediate insane pet owner

I will defeat you in the crucible ideas, robot

*post gets five likes*

I’ve gone viral

I’m not ready for any conversation because I’m maladjusted

The only fake skeet ive seen is this one

Yet, what am I supposed to say to someone who drops a fork while wearing jorts?

Cancel culture running wild again

I fly into unmitigated and unhealthy rage every time I see a big, expensive, souped up, clean pick up truck do anything. Merge into my lane after appropriately signaling? Rage. Parking in the lines? Rage. Stopping at red light? Rage. And god forbid they do anything wrong.

I’m proud of this.

I’m a stupid piece of shit, not a dumb one. I’m safe

My plan is to lull you into a false sense of security and then start talking about how Tim Scott is based

Please censor

It’s not your fault. Typos are actually moon zombies

I’m not taking questions at this time

Sounds like a convenient excuse to have some snails catch strays

Do your research sheep

Yet another moral relevast. Would it change your mind if I told you the zombies think Weird: The Al Yankovich Story is overrated????

You stupid, simple panda. I wish you wouldn’t make posts with no scientific backing, especially when we have a government that is anti science.

The shears are for fighting moon zombies.

I don’t think this is scientifically accurate

Good hustle

If you ignore the emails you read, your unread email count is a lie and you are a sinner

We have a constitution so we can look down on other countries, op