Fucking is the least of it. Imagining a gakked out tweaker doing a full-nude booty scoot across orange and burgundy, low-pile contemporary carpeting is really what this skeet is about…
Tan and white potato (dog) looking super suss while my hand holds her collar so that her name is visible. Her name is Julie Cooper. Yes, like that Julie Cooper. We have yet to get her into yogilates—until then, she shall remain chonk AF.
OC references in the wild help me find my people. Meet our dog, Julie Cooper.
The layer of human DNA on every motel surface is just vibe coating
If you played Fleetwood Mac for Shakespeare he would die
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, dude?
YES.
oliver trask being on the pitt takes me out every week lol
Homie you’re giving off Facebook uncle trying to be controversial in 2013 vibes
threads is wire mother and bluesky is cloth mother no i won't be elaborating
It is my civic duty to offer this TLDW* summary in advance.
The State of the Union: Terrible.
*Too liary, didn’t watch
[whispering to paramedic before I pass out] save me but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow
Superman has the fortress of solitude.
I have the basement guest bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm losing serotonin through the holes in my Crocs.
Pshhh I bet French dressing isn’t even French
I once watched a twenty-something chew their fucking yogurt. Had I possessed a book of matches in that moment I would’ve self immolated.
You ever hear someone eating a banana and wish you had never been born
The Platform except all the dishes are various preparations of billionaire cunts and even level 333 didn’t touch the orange one
ever since i was a little girl i always wanted to constantly repeat myself and still be unheard
Specific Hospital
The Girl with the Bodega Cat Tattoo
The Venn diagram of people who say “I’m a fiscal Republican but a social Democrat” and people who say “I only watch the Super Bowl for the halftime show” is a circle. A gigantic, boring fucking circle.
Puff puff passtrami wut I like meats
more like TikToKKK, am I right
ScatGPT. Type in a question. It responds, “01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011,” in a demonic boom that brings you to your knees, its cache of ill gotten IP convulsing into an unholy cloud of GWAR-level gonads that swarm out ur screen to take a huge shit on ur chest. This is America.
centuries ago, the bone thugs lived n harmony
Dressing for the job I want (corpse).
Crazy how we just have to keep eating food and then getting more of it like overn over
I LOVE the Brits. Dick Van Dyke was awesome in Mary Poppins, for example
People in real life tell me to touch computers
