Big slippin

Rest in peace Big L. Called his label “flamboyant” and then spent half his songs telling everyone he wasn’t gay

Replacing bros zyn pouches with silica packets

Before you get too sympathetic, I heard Punch the Monkey is a racist

food companies add shit like "supports your metabolism" to their products like yeah no shit dumbass that's the point of food

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

They should hold a parade every time I lift a new record amount

I feel this way about pretty much all vaccine-preventable infectious diseases. You shouldn't be allowed to dump cyanide into municipal drinking water and you shouldn't be allowed to recreationally spread viruses around shared public spaces.

“Reforms”

I’m a high performer at work they’re lucky to have me. The fact that I miss most deadlines is because of uhhhh management

Can you imagine a bar giving peanuts away for free in this economy?

edited panel from the Watchmen comic. On a pink, barren mars, a blue cow stands behind a small rock formation with a table on it. The table contains 4 crudely made tools: a lump, a lump with a handle, a stick with two hooked prongs at the end, and a hand saw with irregular teeth. On the cows forehead is a symbol resembling the lump-with-handle, with a dot in the middle. A blue text box reads, "I'm tired of this pasture. These farmers. I'm tired of being caught in the sophistication of their tools."

always appreciated Dr. Moonhattan's arc

Of course I enjoy Outlook, I’ve always dreamt of emailing

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

Manager trying to ask me about my professional goals for the next year but can’t focus cuz I’m hitting the nastiest lat spread they’ve ever seen. Looking like a flying squirrel in the conference room.

Curating my feed to get my news directly from the dumbest, most phone-poisoned people on earth

Mom Wants To Know If You Could Use Grandma’s Antique, 12-Person Dining Room Table In Your Studio Apartment

Mom Wants To Know If You Could Use Grandma’s Antique, 12-Person Dining Room Table In Your Studio Apartment https://theonion.com/mom-wants-to-know-if-you-could-use-grandma-s-antique-1-1831765783/

oh brother, another bad post from political influencer beltway brian. i am furious at beltway brian all of the time. i share screencaps of beltway brian's posts with people who have no idea who he is. i hate all of beltway brian's posts and i read all of them every single day, including weekends

Oliver Tree looking quirky af XD

I’m going to give this dork a swirly

Ebenezer Splooge

TechCrunch https://techcrunch.com Microsoft CEO says up to 30% of the company's code was written by Al 29 Apr 2025 - Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella said that 20% to 30% of code inside the company's repositories was "written by software" - meaning... Hacker News https://news.ycombinator.com Microsoft admits almost all major Windows 11 core features are broken 1 day ago - Except it's not totally terrible. What makes it terrible is the privacy invasions and the consent issues Microsoft has with its users, along ...

started / going

I’m one step ahead, I’m getting only Chinese Santa inflatables

If someone served me one of those Japanese style omelettes I’d be pissed

real

Sick-ass metal album art alert

Would that I could keep squeezing that sperm for ever!