Gerraint

I've decided I'm going to avoid everything that makes me fat:

Pictures, mirrors, scales...

#Cannes

Not a lot of people know this but the singer Bill Withers had a brother called Bear, who wrote telephone hold music.

I once knew a farmer who fed Marmite to his pregnant pig.

She's just had a litter of 12 Twiglets.

That’s how I saw it… #cannes

That’s how I saw it… #cannes

Ma Nolan’s

I arrived early at the Restaurant last night.

The manager said, "Do you mind waiting for a bit?".

I said, "Not at all".

He replied, "Great, take these drinks to Table 10".

At this time 6 years ago it was illegal for people to be within 2m of me...

Sometimes I miss that.

Foreshadowing.

Charlie Sheen is American,

Michael Sheen is Welsh,

but Mr Sheen is Polish...

As we approach the 6th anniversary of the Great Toilet Roll Wars...

It's better to reflect on the comic genius of Robin Williams.

They say that David Jason set a new level for British comedy with that one famous scene, but it was the landlord that really raised the bar.

Happy St. David's Day.

I'm celebrating it by watching a film, don't know whether to watch a Fish Called Rhondda or Dai Hard?

Happy St David’s Day. On this day in history my cousin dressed me like this! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 🌼

I put my phone under my pillow last night.

When I woke up it was gone and there was £1 in its place.

It was the Bluetooth Fairy!

Cardiff Blues

#Manchester

My friend said, "My kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?"

I said: “Cats.... Cats love fish.”

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit: “What’s your blood type?”

“I’m probably a type O,” said the rabbit.

Detroit, February 2016

Does anyone know what tea they drink in Greece and Turkey?

Everytime I offer to make my wife a coffee she says, “I’d rather have Aegean tea.”

The “Beeching effect”?

View from a train.

A couple of years ago on the way to work, I thought something’s not right.

I went to a faith healer last night.

He was bloody awful…

- even the bloke in the wheelchair stood up and walked out.