Matt :)

Hydrology moment

In conclusion my relationship with concepts is a land of contrasts

Every day I am fascinated by concepts

Every day I am plagued by concepts

I care about them in the sense that they might motivate the American public to Finally Do It

I just had half a mental breakdown hearing Wallace Shawn talking about his work on this shitty CBS sitcom with the same level of thoughtfulness as The Fever or My Dinner with Andre.

*Wallace Shawn voice* Young Sheldon

Hearing reports that Paul Walker recited the Carhada to the EMT shortly before his death.

Way to rub it in

MF Doom is my favorite vocaloid

I don't know if he's right about stuff but I love listening to him💕

That's what you get for using an adobe product

Disastrous news for my "all cats are girls" theory:

Boygenius? More like Girlgenius. Where my smart broads at?!

Please, Silliam Billiam was my father.
Call me Silly Billy.

Getting drunk to do my taxes. It's time to party babeeee

yellow poster reading WAR PLANS? BLUE PRINTS? PATROL ROUTES? LEAK. THEM. TO. US. WELL THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM PODCASTING COMPANY PHILADELPHIA, PA

how expensive can that ad space really be...

I actually love the golden dome project, purely because of how funny it's gonna be when it fails

Every time I hear anything about Pete Hegseth my first thought is "God, this really is one of the dumbest mfs to ever do it"

In many ways, scrolling your own posts is the jacking off of the mind.

4:40 am going back for more 200$

Idioms are so messed up. Who thought it was a good idea to start talking in riddles during regular ass conversations

Nicknames are for friends and James Fallon is no friend of mine.

It goes up in the sky where it turns into stars

The stepsister has gotten stuck in the washing machine of my heart

Now more than ever.

Barry Lyndon? From the 21 Savage edit?

Excellent work, Agent Trump. China will be reunited at once

They can be if you're cool enough

Coworkers love saying "abortion is fundamentally immoral and destroys a woman's ability to be happy" completely out of nowhere during the work day.