Commissioner Bloops

The Trump negotiation tactic of shitting in the middle of the floor and staring you in the eyes until an adult comes and fixes it.

Stay in school. Simply to stay off the streets with the old people driving.

Miss me with that extinction burst nonsense. It's not a burst, it's the exposure of the mechanics that kept the behavior going. Like a growing snowball that rolled down past the treeline. There's nothing else to grow with from the ground and now there's trees that will inevitably get smashed into.

Just moved off of Dish One St. Or did I?

New improved water formula (now hairless)

Bro really thought Venezuela was a substitute for the oil that goes through Hormuz

Substituting true empathy for simply entertaining the ideas of 'both sides'

Turns out all that empathy talk we got growing up was sandbagging us

"Hmm?" His butt asks, as he farts with an upward inflection

*Mermaid wife seeing a herd of manatee on a long road trip* "Seacow"

Becoming immediately visibly agitated when I see Aldi carts don't take 5 nickels

Tom Walker forgot his YouTube password that's why he stopped uploading 5 months ago.

Are people betting on the Lion/Lamb dichotomy in March?

I'm really able to understand why fairy tales always made the hero "Pure of Heart". It's a totally unquantifiable aspect of man but it sure feels like shit when you recognize a lack of it in leaders.

So when you get a billion dollars is it an agreement to have a weird dick or does it just come naturally?

The Jokers pencil trick with a running chainsaw

Fox News suing Tucker Carlson for plagiarizing his great replacement theory show on his dipshit podcast

More like Dick Schlorpor

Christ, Georgia gets weird about snow. Every year it happens they get that little 'gotta let everyone know it's cold' glint in their eyes.

The trumpets calling forth the apocalypse blasting out "Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state"

The memories of morons saying "he's gonna run it like a business" swirl in my vision as I stare at the yellow wallpaper and my consciousness shrinks to a pinprick.

Abra Focaccia🤌💥

KillTony but it's Fi, Navi, Kaepora Gaebora and Ezlo

Hospice for me with a cold

Words mean things but if I read the rule word for word with an upward inflection it means I don't need to follow the rule type of guy

"I'm a lefty but I ______ right handed."

Just admit you can't complete the illusion you faker

You think Jynx is wearing a dress? That's skin, it's naked.

If you say the problem was anything other than unrestrained, state sponsored violence, you're just right-wing dancing in the middle to allow more of it to happen in the meantime.

Mark Rober and The Refusal to Weld

Well, you know the old saying, "sleepy loser"