UnbeGnomest

despite my advanced age, this is the first time I've grown my hair this long

long hair is INDEED exceptional for headbanging to metal

but I slept on it WRONG and woke up with the Bed of Chaos on the back of my head

#skillissue #longhair #gitgud #darksouls

looks rad, love a good earth-mote drifting through the clouds

BREAKING — 51 Iranian children are dead after a strike hits Minab girls elementary school in Iran.

imo, the true genius of Miyazaki & FromSoft - to quote the apocryphal parable of the Undead Dragon design, "the deep sorrow of a magnificent beast doomed to a slow and possibly endless descent into ruin"

empathy for your foe, that you mourn their passing, is quintessential to the Souls experience

Littke something to pin on Insta after the wave of A/I slop from this weekend

no war no borders no cops no prisons no to all of this shit

I used to roll all rolls in front of my players

My pal John was playing a half-orc monk & nobody else had any HP or an AC above 14

John had a CRUSHING week when he came to the table. He NEEDED a win, but dice don't care

The way dying made him feel remains one of my most profound regrets in DMing

This is another one of those paradoxes in gaming where both extremes are logically absurd and bound to cause issues in overuse

Meeting the moment and interpreting what will be great for the players is quintessential to ttrpgs, but so is the allure of the oracular properties of dice rolls

Talyn referred to Autechre's 'Clipper' as the sound of velcro fucking, and I can't really disagree

today's morning activities
-several household chores
-listening to Autechre
-large scale file backup/data storage transfer
-reminiscing about Hackmaster and saving image files of its many ridiculous book covers
-browsing Steam game recommendations
-pet kitty, give treat, reassure he is a good kitty

It is also nearly impossible to track down in its entirety, very expensive as the books are considered collectors items, and the humor is very, very dated to make the understatement of the year

but with all its flaws, it holds a very unique position in ttrpg history

you cast career-ending-injury-inducing spells:

- Snarcher's Corkscrewing Smoking Magic Missile
- Sliggderlisp's Particularly Noxious Depilatory Cloud
- Mericutyn's Grotesquely Distended Nose
- Bash Face

you wish to nard groglier than ever you've grogly narded? this ancient, cursed game is for you

there are reference tables that reference reference tables which themselves references references to other reference tables

the system unapologetically utilizes THAC0, and then does thing like include +15 great swords

in the eight-volume Hacklopedia of Beasts, there are 1600 monster statblocks

each including information on the culinary uses, trophy value, and spell-components adventurers can harvest

many of these are intentionally world-ending threat level creatures, mathematically impossible to defeat

The HackMaster system was developed from the Knights of the Dinner Table ttrpg comic. Here, on an illustrated cover, the principle players flee in terror under a hail of arrows across a portcullis while clinging to ill-gotten swag.

... there is a parody system released in the lawless age of 2001

Hackmaster

the logical extrapolation of grognard rule supremacy, crafted by numerophiles from Waukeegan to Muncie

a fully functional system with two dozen rule expansions and over a score of modules

they released it AS A JOKE

Even trolls mine for nose gold. This one's going for the motherlode!

It's a toss-up between

"apprentice wizards, lacking a moral compass, practice transmutation spells on rats, bats, trash-pandas, and so forth - goblins are creatures adjusting to newfound sentience and thumbs"

and

"sometimes, when a troll picks and flicks, the booger stands up and blinks"

The human baby says mama, yet the dwarven baby with a full beard says hammer. Swaddling a dwarven infant with its own beard will have a calming effect. Continue swaddling for 3 to 4 months after delivery. When mixing dwarven baby formula, the alcohol content should be kept relatively mild. 70 to 90 Proof is recommended.

that

is a magnificent beard... lustrous, like the beard of a newly born mountain dwarf, yet well coiffed - truly, an achievement attainable only by refined skill

may you wear it in pride, and majesty

Behold the Nailbat, a weapon from FF7 (this high-resolution nailbat is from the remake) Truly, an elegant weapon for a more civilized age

bonk

An excerpt from celebrated webcomic Kill Six Billion Demons, wherein a sword saint pays for a most excellent bowl swimming noodles with a proverb: "If you should meet God on the road... kill him."

The Kickstarter for “Temeraire: The Roleplaying Game” is now open! www.kickstarter.com/projects/mag...

I am so excited to bring to you this project by Magpie Games, the officially licensed tabletop roleplaying game that lets you join the world of Temeraire & take to the skies in the Napoleonic Wars

Kevin Siembieda back in the day, taking a wrecking ball to the concept of game balance by adding R.C.C.s in the hundreds

one of those paradoxes - the characteristics of Palladium that give new audiences the ick are exactly what the core fanbase loves most about it

You may meet some resistance when you supply cool concept monsters, but socket to 'em! I for one applaud your creative spark - very au currant in the OSE circuit. So charge ahead! Go big or go Ohm, I'll tell you Watt!

welcome to the fold

here are your complimentary jaap maala prayer beads and neon shutter glasses

reach heaven through violence

Elric saying "again I must make use of you, Stormbringer" to his floating evil magic soul-sucking jerk of a sword Seriously, that sword is a real asshole

... oops

i'm making a presentation

also, distortion of area and distance at northerly and southerly parallels (due to the fantasy map being a mecator projection) is for my mileage just as tedious as it sounds

This is why I map in abstract, like a coward

"yes, intrepid adventurer, Tarleytown is but two days travel east"

*that's what you said about Barleydown*

"... y-yes. They are a twin city, like Dallas Fort Worth. You are both keen of wit and wise of ass."

Gay Bar (Rathergood) YouTube video by Nostalgic Tube

Remember when the internet was fun?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WPM...

Weeeee!!! Gonads and Strife YouTube video by InhibitorProductions

yes
yes, i do